2 issues.

^^Anyone who knew who this group was before I shared their colorful video with you, please stop by, cause you got 10 points for Gryffindor.

Anyhoo, Happy Sunday.  As you read this, I’m enjoying brunch and a heavy does of day-drinking with some friends in honor of Austin’s 28th, plus we are sending some friends off.  They’re moving to South Carolina 😦

I will take loads of pictures of the brunch, which will include some Southern things so those of you reading from like, Canada will understand why the South has a serious problem with our weight.  Yeesh.

I have 2 issues I want to bring up.  And I’m not trying to be a complainy-no-friends, but both of these things are really needling me, and I need like, someone to rub my back over it.

1.  I am seriously looking for a summer bikini, and I’m overwhelmed.  I tried to go to the mall today, to Victoria’s Secret since my soon-to-be stepmother-in-law got me a giant gift certificate to VS.  It took me approximately 15 seconds to start to feel really overwhelmed with how overly perfume stinky the store was, and then I just turned around and got a diet lemonade and left.  But if anyone has any really good suggesions for a bikini, please send them my way, because I need one as it’s been 90 degrees at least every day here for the last week and a half.

2.  Secondly, I am sick and tired to DEATH of the coffee shops here in Raleigh.  Last week I was blogging from this hispter coffee shop in Raleigh from the outside, and was totally grossed out by how much cigarette smoke was out there.  Honestly it made me feel cranky and sick, and I totally hated it.  Today, I went back there, asked for two Splenda in my coffee, to which the barista pointed at a pile of Splenda across the way, but refused to put it in my cup before she brewed the espresso in it.

I’m sick of paying four bucks for a coffee to vicariously smoke a cigarette that makes me feel nauseated and have people be really mean to me.  I want to open a coffee shop one day I think.  Now that day won’t be fore 10 billion years, but I’d kinda like for it to happen and I will actually me nice to my customers and ask that smokers smoke not on the patio so that people can like, chill.

What are you up to on this balmy Sunday?

Oh, and please don’t forget to vote for me to be your cover chick!

Beauty Buys! Plus an at-home gel mani!

So drug store cosmetics are some of my favorite purchases in the world, but with the wedding coming up, I have been focusing more of my finances on wedding things, and less on extraneous purchases.  But last week, I was out of a few things, and so I treated myself to some things I’ve been meaning to buy for a while.  Let’s look through a few of my purchases, and I’ll let you know how they worked out!

DSC_0726 DSC_0727

Okay starting from the far left.

Volum’ Express Falsies Big Eyes Mascara by Maybelline – My honest opinion is I wouldn’t buy this.  I wasn’t really impressed with what it did, and it didn’t really do much for me.  It was really a meh purchase.  Very meh.  I have had better luck with Volum’ Express Colossal…much more worth it for the money.

Maybelline Dream Fresh BB Cream – This is definitely a good buy.  I don’t wear a ton on my skin since I’ve been using Proactiv, but this buy is definitely worth it.  A little dab kinda just smooths out what is going on, and is really really good for a day where you have a gnarly breakout.  It also contains some SPF which is really important for us ladies that are not interested in turning leathery.

RevitaLift Miracle Blur anti-aging skin care by L’Oreal Paris – This product, which was introduced to me by Amanda, is a killer purchase.  So it’s a moisturizer, which I can always use more of, it contains SPF, and it sort of just magically fixes your skin.  Prior to starting Proactiv, I kind of had a permanent breakout on my forehead, that left me with some dark marks.  Between the Proactiv, limited makeup, and this product, I feel like this is the last piece in the puzzle to fix what’s been going on with my skin.  Seriously, if you have drier skin, and you’re looking for a moisturizer with some SPF that can be worn on it’s own, this is is.  Thank you Amanda!

Okay, last but not least, the folks at A Beautiful Mess taught me how to do a gel mani at home.  HOLLA AT SAVING $50!

What you’ll need to do your own gel mani and save a bajillion dollars over the course of a year.

DSC_0723

  • Rubbing alcohol 
  • Acetone for removal (kinda more after). 
  • Gelous Gel Nail Coat <-You can get that at Sally’s

DSC_0724

  • Your nail color
  • A top coat – AMB recommends Seche Vite, which I have, but I went with my Orly top coat, and it seemed to work out well.

Kay, here are your steps. Nails are clean and buffed, right?

  1. Swab your nails with alcohol to get any excess oils off.
  2. Do a thin coat of Gelous, let it dry for a minutes.
  3. Do a coat of the color, let it dry for three minutes.
  4. Another coat of Gelous, let it dry for a minute.
  5. ANOTHER coat of color, three minutes dry time.
  6. Your top coat, dry it for one minute.
  7. And FINALLY do one last coat of Gelous, seal the top of your nails, and let it dry for a million years.  Seriously, as long as possible

DSC_0725

At. Home. Gel. Mani.

Saved ya money!

What do you have planned for this weekend?

White Ford Bronco – Where were you?

So on Wednesday, Austin turned the big 2-8, so in celebration, I took Austin on date to the first place we ever went, which was the Rockford downtown.

The Rockford is really cool spot, and was an excellent choice for Austin to take me to because the food is good, fresh, and it has a little bit of a vegetarian lean – I could easily find something on the menu without having to do too much wiggling to figure out something to eat.

So I took him there, and we had the best time.  He brought me flowers.  I hope we never stop “dating.”

Date NightThis poorly lit, sorta blurry photo is the only documentation I have of the night cause we asked this guy at the bar for a photo, and he snapped a terrible one, and I was too embarrassed by his terrible photography skills to ask him to do another one.  Oh well!

Okay, so let’s make a right turn.

Bronco Chase 6-17-94The other night, Austin and I watched this ESPN documentary that documented June 17th, 1994.  Which was 20 years ago, by the way, if you’re looking to feel super old.

I’m not really interested on anyone’s opinion on OJ’s guilt, however, what I am interested in is finding out what you were doing when this chase was going down.

For me, I was with my family (there were only 5 of us at this point), at Smuggler’s Notch in Vermont.  I remember it being one of the most amazing vacations in the entire world – I also remember coming back to the condo from a swim or something, and my parents being transfixed by this chase that was happening in real time.

The Knicks were also losing a game, if I’m not mistaken.

Where were you during this chase? 

 

Wedding Wednesday (I skipped last week)…and it’s Thursday

As we get closer to the wedding day (by the time you’re reading this, you will be 64 days and some hours from the big day) things get crazy.

Every day, I find myself working on some other project.  I am really enjoying it, and I have yet to feel sheer panic.  I know it could happen, I mean I know myself pretty well, but so far my attitude has been pretty good about the whole thing.  Since we’ve gotten engaged, my grandmother passed, I threw up during a marathon, my parents moved houses, my little brother graduated high school, my dress is still not here, and my groom’s band doesn’t fit, but all in all, I’d say I’m taking things in stride.

So yesterday, Offbeat Bride published this article entitled, “Why my wedding isn’t about me, and never was”.  You can read it here.

I never felt like my wedding was about me.  I never felt like that bride for whom the earth would stand still.  An episode of bridezillas was not in my future.  But I like things the way that I like them, and that’s the way I felt they should be.   The day was mine and Austin’s – I viewed it as a party that we were the hosts of, and we were inviting special friends and family of ours to attend.

Jessa Wedding
via Tumblr – remember this incredible surprise wedding that Jessa invited everyone to by text? The one where Shosh accidentally wore white to?
via Tumblr - them wedding dance movies doe....
via Tumblr – them wedding dance movies doe….

So imagine my surprise when my mother began taking some control of the situation.

It started hours after we were engaged, when she asked me if we had a date yet.  Of course we didn’t, we’d been engaged for like 3 hours at that point!

And through the next couple of months, there was a really awkward push and pull.  My mother would kind of state, as fact, the friends who she wanted to come.  Friends of my mother’s reached out to me to inquire about the status of their invitation.   Friends that I didn’t know well or care for really.  My mother complained endlessly about the venue, and told me that she thought about refusing to come if I had the wedding at that venue.

And it blew my mind.

My mother really and truly believed the wedding was for her.  I felt differently.

So I reached out to some folks on a bridal forum who confirmed to me that there was a HUGE difference between our generation and my parents’ generation.  For my parents, the wedding truly was about showing off for the friends of the parents.  It wasn’t about the couple.  And it certainly wasn’t about the bride.

And somewhere, for me, there was a shift.  No, I wasn’t going to let friends and family push me around about what they wanted for OUR nuptials, but I also wasn’t going to be a huge bitch about refusing people’s advice.  It still continues to baffle me that perfect strangers and distant relatives would be so rude as to make demands or pushy suggestions on our day, or that a distant relative would send me rude emails regarding the big day, but instead of getting myself baffled and angry, I’ve been choosing to do what the Haitians say, eat the proverbial chicken, and spit out the bones.  When the advice is really stupid, I just pretend like I think it’s great, or I just politely state that I will ask for help when I need it.  When it’s great, I take it.

And God BLESS those friends, two in particular, who have stepped up and been an incredible source of help and advice as we go through this process.

Brides, how is your planning going?

Tinder Dilemma

Hi!  I totally hope you guys are doing amazingly today – it’s Austin’s birthday today and between prepping to take him out for din and actually washing my birds nest of a mane, some things didn’t get scheduled, and you were out a post this morning.  For that I am sorry.  Only a little sorry though, cause I managed to squeeze a run in too this morning before it got up over 90 degrees, and that’s invaluable these days.

Now, moving right along folks, I want to present to you a little something that we in the biz (that’s what we call social work, the biz) call a dilemma.

So, have you guys heard of TInder? For those of you who are not privy to how us kids are getting’ down, a lot of our relationships are starting online.  And from that online dating thing, a few really interesting apps have developed, all for the purposes of providing millennials like me with an option to meet folks with the one thing we don’t leave home without – our phones.

images

It’s cool, and it eliminates the awkward bar interactions that used to pre-date a relationship.

[As a side night, thank you lawdy that I had the good fortune to meet Austin during graduate school, cause God forbid I was out on the market now, I don’t think I could handle it.]

So here’s the dilemma, which a friend posted to Facebook a few days ago.

She’s on TInder. A “happily married” male friend of hers was on Tinder.  Does she say anything to the wife, who is also a friend of hers?  Does she stay out of it?  Maybe the couple is into that, right?

My understanding is is if you’re not looking for a relationship, you’re not on Tinder, or you’re not on of of these sites right?  But unless I’m really really close to one in the couple, I’m staying out of it…but is that the wrong thing to do?

Have any of you guys experienced a dilemma like this?  What do you think? 

Oh, and if you haven’t today, please vote for me to be on the cover of Women’s Running Mag!

Private College. Is it worth it?

I have been really really open about the fact that I went to Elon University.  It was a wonderful, beautiful experience, and I loved it.  But was it worth it?  Is private college worth it, and for whom?28833_603402085403_7000782_n

I was inspired to write this by a few things.  Number one, as a graduate of a prestigious private uni, I am saddled with a pretty good hunk of student loans.  It keeps me up at night.  It motivates my thinking.  It affects my purchases.  And I feel an unimaginable sense of sorrow and guilt that when I signed on for the loans, I wasn’t 1000% sure what I was signing up for.  At the time, when my parents could no longer afford Elon, I was under the absolutely incorrect assumption that by now, I would have a job that paid me a reasonable, living wage, and that with some budgeting, I would quickly be able to pay off the debt that I’d incurred.

The second thing that inspired me to write this was the fact that Emily Yoffe from Slate addressed this recently, when a mother, who’d had nothing saved for her children’s education, was questioning if she should send her son to his dream school (that they could not afford), or have him live at home, attend a state school, and allow him to transfer a few years later.  Yoffe gave some decent advice, and on someone who kinda lived through the whole recession thing, here are my two cents.

Student Loans

I didn’t have a crystal ball.  I had no way to know that my parents would go from being able to afford school to having to build back up, but if I had had that crystal ball, maybe I would have chosen somewhere different to go.  But here is my assessment, especially for those of you wondering if you or your kids should go to your dream school, or to the best school you can afford.

Okay, here goes.

I do not regret my decision to go to Elon, and the subsequent debt however, please keep in mind the following before you sign away your life for student loans.

  • Your decision will affect your future purchases.  So four years later, when you’re trying to buy a car?  The fact that you have debt will impact what you can buy.
  • Were you thinking about buying a house soon?  Not so fast with those loans holding you hostage.
  • If you’re prone to anxiety, stay far away from those loans.  Seriously, the things that keep me up at night all involve money.
  • Marriage may be the furthest thing from your mind, (I know I was not in that headspace at all) but 5 years later, I brought my debt into my marriage. Or I’m about to at least.  And I feel really guilty.  Austin gets it, he understands, but this was not the ideal way for me to start a family.

So the verdict?

If you can afford it, go to the best school you can.  If you cannot afford it, think long and hard, long and hard about loans.  And after you’ve thought about it, go to the best school you can afford, not the reach that will affect your life for years to come.

What are your thoughts on student loans?  

I need your help!

Okay, so I will keep reminding you day in and day out.  But something really exciting happened to me.

So I found out last weekend, and I wasn’t really allowed to tell anyone until about 1 am.

Women’s Running Magazine is hosting a contest for their next cover model.  Me and about two thousand women entered, and GUESS WHAT?! I am a finalist!  One of nine exquisitely beautiful women.

Screen Shot 2014-06-17 at 7.37.24 AMSo I stuck a new link to the right.  I will remind you all over the place.  But please, please, pretty please, vote for me daily to see your FAVORITE blogger on the cover of Women’s Running Magazine.

Click here to vote.  Voting closes July 2nd at 12pm so be prepped for me to harass you until then.  And then I’ll be getting married right after that so things are fixin’ to get real innerstin on the blog!

I couldn’t take it.

It’s super rare that I ditch a workout, but after a particularly hot trail run on Sunday night where I left completely drenched, a little nauseated, and with my achilles doing it’s own thing, I made the executive decision to meet a coworker at the pool, and pool run, instead of sacrificing my entire soul on a 95-degree trail run.

photo 1This was the trail run in question.  If you kinda look at my face, you can see my eyeliner is all runny.  I literally felt so sick after this run, and it was approximately 90ish degrees at the time of the run.

photo 2I took one feel at the humidity outside, grabbed my Kindle and bikini, and ran in the pool til I was over it.

And it was amazing.

I don’t think I’ve had the time (since the serious wedding planning started) to read a book, so it was nice to press the pause button while I tried to finish “Orange is the New Black”.

The deal is though, since I’m almost done with that book, and since I got a big fat $6 settlement in some Kindle class action lawsuit, I’m gonna need another book to read, and once we get married I’m gonna read the HELL out of some books.

Give me some books to read please!

Staying Fit With a Full-Time Job (and a Baby)

This is a guest post, kind of stemming off of a post I wrote last week about making time to stay fit.  I was not comfortable speaking to staying fit while you’re a mom, because honestly, I’m not a mom, and I feel like I’m not necessarily in a position to judge.
Over the past year or so, Chelsie, a good friend, and an AMAZING bridesmaid, has made the transition from being a hard-working wife, to a hard-working wife and mommy, and she’s managed to, in my opinion, find herself in even better shape than she was prior to becoming a mommy, all the while baking, working full-time, and making sure that Evie gets fed too!
So from mommy to mommy, here some tips to staying fit with a job, husband, and baby!
If you know me in real life or if you follow me on Instagram (http://instagram.com/cchlykens) then you know that I bake often.  This fact frequently leads to the question, “But why aren’t you huge!?” When Cheri, who is basically a fitness goddess, asked me to share how I work full time and stay fit I was honored that she wanted my take on things.  I am in no way a professional when it comes to nutrition or fitness.  However, I do know what is working for me.  My daughter, Evie, is nearly 17 months old and I find myself in better physical shape than I have been in, in years.  That is not to say I left the hospital in non-maternity clothing.  I gained the recommended 35 pounds while I was pregnant and it took about 8 months to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  I have since continued the journey with the only goal in mind being to be as healthy as I can for my daughter.  I think my methods break down into three categories that hopefully even persons who are not parents can take tips from.

1. Breastfeed

Ok, so this one sounds mom-specific, but hear me out.  We’ve all heard “breast is best” and there are endless studies that show breastfeeding is excellent for babies and their mothers (for more on that HERE http://thecultureofbreastfeeding.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/the-benefits-of-breastfeeding.png?w=640 ).  This, however, is not that post.  When you are pregnant you are supposed to eat 300 extra calories a day to provide your developing baby with enough nourishment. When you are nursing you are supposed to eat 500 extra calories a day. Breastfeeding burns 500 calories, y’all.  FIVE HUNDRED for snuggling with a cute squishy baby (or a cute wriggling toddler who may or may not be pulling your hair and presently has one foot on your throat, or still yet 500 calories for spending some QT with that pump you love, but hate).
toddler
So, you don’t have a baby? You’re just busy and you want to be healthier.  Still a very likely, very valid scenario.  My suggestion here is to take a cue from breastfeeding mothers and limit your alcohol and caffeine.  I love coffee, and in what sometimes seems like another life, I loved bourbon.  I will not begrudge you that morning cup of joe or occasional glass of wine (though I did give up alcohol and caffeine for my entire pregnancy… except for what caffeine is found in chocolate- I have my limits.), but it is something to think about when you are considering calories.  It is extremely easy to drink extra calories without even batting an eyelash and that goes for cocktails and coffee drinks alike.  The same goes for sodas, teas… you know what your vice is.
2. Eat Like A Toddler (or how you would want your toddler to eat in a perfect world)
EvieStrawberries
When introducing solids to Evie we chose to go with a modified version of baby led weaning, which basically means no baby cereal and no jarred foods or purees.  The short answer as to why we went that route is that the nutritional value in cereal is artificially added (it’s “fortified”) and I would rather she get nutrients from a rainbow of foods, not enhanced rice.  She eats what we eat, only in a more baby friendly version, which means our meals have to include things that are baby friendly.  We started her out on single ingredient foods that were naturally the right texture for somebody who only has gums to work with – think avocado, banana, steel cut oats.  As often as possible she ate (and still eats) fresh fruits and vegetables (strawberries created the crime scene above) with no added sugar and no added salt.  When I’m cooking dinner for a discerning toddler (now almost 17 months and quite the foodie)  I can’t throw her just any old junk in good conscience.  Having a child makes you a better person, and in the case of my husband and I, it has made us better eaters.  Before you put something in your mouth ask yourself if you would feed it to a toddler.  I’m not asking you to eat mush, but I think you get the point.  It takes a little planning – you have to buy whole foods if you want to eat whole foods- but it’s so incredibly worth it.  Instead of handing her a pop-tart, I can just as easily (with less than 15 minutes of prep on a prior evening) hand my daughter a hard boiled egg for breakfast.  Grab some fruit or half an avocado and you’re set in minutes!  If you’re just getting started with cooking, simple is best.  Less than 5 ingredients is perfect, raw is absolutely acceptable (carrot sticks as a side? Yes, please!), and seasonings are your friend. I’m pretty sure apples are the original convenience food.  We have excellent resources here in Nashville in our various farmers markets.  The main market is open 363 days a year and we have neighborhood markets nearly every single day in the summer that spring up all over town where we can buy locally grown produce as well as grass fed meats and dairy.  Look around a little, I’m sure these things are available in your area too (Tip: you can sometimes source local free range chicken eggs via Craigslist). Odds are good you’ll be able to support local agriculture and it’ll be easier on your wallet than a health food store.
Like I mentioned earlier, I am a baker.  Another one of my food related tricks is that I have kind of an unwritten rule where I make my own junk food. This allows me to eliminate preservatives for the most part and ingredients I can’t pronounce. The added bonus here is that because I went to the trouble to make it from scratch and use quality ingredients I tend to savor it as a treat a little more. I eat a piece (or two), and ultimately take the rest to work to share.
cake
The same goes for bread as it does for cake.  I make most of our sandwich bread. I don’t find myself chowing down on toast because while simple to make, bread takes time, and time is not something I have a lot of these days.
bread
Side note: My toddler loves curry.  Who would’ve thought?!
3. Rethink Your “Workout”
Just because you don’t have time to fight traffic on your way from the office to the gym, change clothes, kick your own booty in a high impact cardio class for an hour and a half, then swim some laps before heading home doesn’t mean you don’t have time to work out.  I can not block out hours at a time to workout inside or outside a gym.  The number of hours in a day do not exist and I do not have the childcare that this requires.  My husband and I have been on ONE real date since sweet Evie was born and sometimes I feel like I hardly have time to shower.  However, I do have time to take a brisk walk at lunch or after dinner.  I do have time to do 20 pushups or hold a plank until my eyeballs pop out while on the floor playing with Evie (babies think planking is HILARIOUS).  It’s an added bonus when she climbs on top of me to add an extra 27 pounds to my pelvic tilts (if you can’t tell, I’m all about rebuilding my core post-partum) and the same goes for squats.  She has a good time, we get to play, and mama gets in a little extra strength training.  Next time you’re catching up on your Twitter feed do some simple barre exercises (tendu, anyone?).  Netflix has eliminated the commercials for many of us, but if you’re watching regular tv, do something, ANYTHING during the commercial break.  5 minutes here, 10 minutes there adds up, and 5 minutes is better than no minutes.
It’s not perfect, and I don’t think I’ll be writing a best selling fitness book anytime soon, but I hope I’ve provided some insight into what works for me.
How do you stay fit with a full time job?
ChelsieEvie