weight loss

Uh oh, hot mom’s in trouble again.

| cheriarmour

You guys remember hot mom, Maria Kang right?  After she posted this photo in October to her Facebook page….

Hot

 

…she was slayed in the media. I contend this, that she looks great, and that the only thing that I could see folks having a problem with was the tagline, which could be construed as a little aggressive.  But the haters were pouring in a-plenty, and the poor woman seemed like she could not catch a break. And then she wrote this, which got her banned from Facebook for hate speech (?!) for a few days.

Here is my deleted post:

WARNING VENTING AHEAD:

I woke up this morning to news stories about how overweight nearly obese women should be proud of their bodies (as they posed in lingerie). I think we should all accept how any healthy body through good nutrition and exercise manifests but I’m starting to get annoyed and here’s why:

1. We have a health issue in America with over 2/3 overweight or obese.

2. We have a healthcare crisis. We spend over 3 trillion in healthcare yearly!

3. We have a childhood obesity issue, with many children suffering from adult diseases like diabetes.

4. We have magazines everywhere praising the celebrity (with all her resources) for being fit after months of giving birth and scorn the “real every day mom” who is able to be successful.

5. We keep blaming the culprit (school lunches, fast food, etc) when the real change starts at home – ESP those who lead, which are the parents.

There are some serious contradictions in our society. I know many people still get riled up with me and my convictions but the truth is I KNOW how it is to work your ass off and not have energy at the end of your day. I know how it feels to be overweight and not drop an ounce after years of disordered eating. I know how difficult it is to raise multiple children – all born a year apart – and make my fitness and nutrition a priority. Lastly, I know how it feels like to grow up with an unhealthy mother wondering if she will live to see your wedding day.

I know it’s hard. I know it’s not easy to break habits and build new ones. I know your environment challenges you and I know making your health a priority amongst the many priorities to stay afloat in today’s world is difficult. But I will tell you this: IT IS WORTH IT.

We need to change this strange mentality we are breeding in the U.S. and start celebrating people who are a result of hard work, dedication and discipline. I’m not bashing those who are proud and overweight, I am empowering those who are proud and healthy to come out and be the real role models in our society. (Vent done)

I understand what she’s saying, I really do.  And she totally means well, as do I.  But the fact that she’s attractive and thin makes some of us girls prickle, and to some of us, automatically invalidates anything she says.

But the fact is she did this.

mariabeforeafter

 

And she seems like me – a few pounds lighter (in her case, like 25,) she’s worked really hard for it, and she’s tired of our society. I get it.

My only advice to her?  Maria, put your hater blockers on, and stop responding.  Just keep doing your thing, and don’t let comments, or Yahoo Shine Articles, or mean nasty people make you feel “misunderstood”.  I only hope to look as good after three kids.

The Christmas Creep…

| cheriarmour

My dear handsome Austin does this thing where he records the first incidence of Christmas anything in his phone, to see if Christmas is creeping up earlier year after year, like they say it is.  Generally, the phrase “Christmas creep” refers to the phenomenon that is Christmas literally creeping up earlier and earlier each year.  Sort of a marketing/consumerism thing.  As a total side note, the Christmas creep doesn’t bother me at all, I quite enjoy Christmas any time of the year.

Fun fact: This is the best x-mas album ever, and if you grew up as a black child in the states, this and the Temptations x-mas album were a main staple of any holiday.
Fun fact: This is the best x-mas album ever, and if you grew up as a black child in the states, this and the Temptations x-mas album were a main staple of any holiday season.

But when I say creep, I’m talking about the pounds.  Conventional “wisdom” used to tell us that the average adult person in the United Stated would gain anywhere from 7-10 pounds during the holiday season.  But according to the Times, that number is closer to 1 pound, which doesn’t sound so bad, except that typically, we hold on to this pound for the rest of our lves.  So for all of the holidays that we do over our adult lives, we’re supposed to just hang onto that pound?  Over 20 holiday seasons that’s 20 pounds, for those of you who aren’t too math oriented, which is well above the +/- 15 you get when you’re at your ideal weight.  Total yikes.

What can we do to avoid the creep and avoid feeling like a slob kabob after December 31st?

Tons.

    • If you overdo it, go here.
    • If you know you tend to overdo it, create a plan of attack.  Take a teeny bit of everything, and not a lot of any one thing.
    • Walk. Walk walk walk walk walk after a big meal.  It just…works.
    • Drinks.  If you indulge, stay far away from the creamy, sugary alcoholic bevvies, and stick to simple, low cal bevs.  I get made fun of all the time, but I truly think Michelob Ultra is sorta refreshing, and I love a vodka and soda with lime.
    • Dessert. SKIP IT.  (Totally kidding).  But same rule as the food.  Take a little bit, and realize there will still be more pie the next day.
    • Get some sleep! Seriously.
    • And stick to some sort of workout schedule.  It can be really nice to sneak away from family for like 40 minutes for this.  A few years ago, I took the family dog for 5 miles on Christmas.  No one really missed me, plus I didn’t get knocked too far off my workout goals.

For me, to combat the poundage, and to avoid falling off the fit wagon, I plan to do a running streak between Thanksgiving and New Years Day, similar to the one I did between Memorial Day and the 4th of July this past summer.  It’s at least a mile a day, every day, for however many consecutive days that is.  I suck at math so that’s like….34 days right?  Someone get back to me if this is wrong…

Shape Mags Cover Girl!

| cheriarmour

Happy 26th to me! I survived the weekend, managed to steal away for a birthday run,  and I was beyond delighted to see who December’s Shape Magazine’s cover girl was. 

Presenting….

Mary J
I saw Mary J. live with my sister a few years ago, and even then, she looked fantastic – she rocked an all-white outfit, danced, and made 40 look like the new 16.

Mary J. Blige!  First off, I’m glad she seems to be rebounding well from this…

But seriously, I am so happy to see some diversity on the cover – not just racially, but she’s not a fitness model, she’s over 40, she’s black, and she takes care of her temple.  If that isn’t inspiration, I don’t know what is.  From crispy chicken to that hot bod, I will be running an extra mile and lifting a little extra weight this weight in Queen Mary’s honor.

I cried in Hot Yoga yesterday.

| cheriarmour

It’s fiiine, the teacher told us we hold a lot of tension in our hips, so it’s not uncommon to get emotional.  Luckily, at that point, it was like pitch-black in there, and the sweat was running in rivulets down my face, so it all looked the same.  Right?  That’s what I keep telling myself anyways.  Having a better time of it than this guy, who posted his mat for sale on Craigslist….

Yoga mat for sale. Used once.

Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows: 

11:45a
Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself. 

11:55a
Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date. 

11:57a
I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her. 

11:58a
The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning. 

11:59a
Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don’t exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us. 

12:00p
Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a slight, agitated Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my penis and testes packed in my Under Armor. My bride is notably unfazed. 

12:02p
Since I do have experience with Hot Yoga (4 sessions just 5 short years ago) I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My wife will look on with a sparkle in her eye. We will make love after class. 

12:10p
It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other’s body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don’t worry, I’ll mention them later.) 

12:26p
It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my bride and decide to look back at her. She appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond. 

12:33p
It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 44 years ago in the womb, but I’m in this for the long haul. My wife looks slightly weathered dripping sweat and her eyeliner is streaming down her face. Well, “for better or worse” is what we committed to so we press on. 

12:40p
The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him. 

12:44p
I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

12:52p
It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see. 

12:55p
This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok? 

1:01p
140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don’t get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

1:09p
150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed. 
I lose consciousness. 

1:15p
I have a headache and my wife is being a selfish bitch. I can’t really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup worth of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out. 

1:17p
I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it’s voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It’s like juice and cracker time, ok? 

1:20p
It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something? 

1:30p
Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and ‘cool down’ in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My wife has left the room. Probably to throw up. 

1:34p
My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level – probably by 15 degrees. So let’s conservatively say it’s 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door. 

1:37p
The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength and my penis begins to retract into my abdomen from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex wife in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day’s turmoil and mental scaring. 

1:47p
Arrive at Emerald City Smoothie and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein — effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 2 hours writing this memoir. 

3:47p
Create Craigslist ad while burning final 2 grams of protein from Smoothie and before the “shakes” consume my body. 

4:29p
Note to self – check car for missing wet yoga towel in am. 

  • Location: Bellevue
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
the yoga mat returns!  
   

La Boulange blows (at Starbucks)

| cheriarmour

So you guys know, I’m like super serious about my coffee right?  Ever since I’ve started to experience some GI issues, I’ve had to switch to decaf, which was sort of hard, but the fact is, if I’m consuming something that could potentially burn holes into the lining of my stomach, it’s time to make some changes.

I love my Starbucks. To date, one of the best gifts that I’ve ever gotten came from Debbie last year.  It was a Kindle gift certificate + a Starbucks gift card.  Incredible, and awesome on the budget, cause my budgeting software didn’t have to know that I was still visiting Starbucks at least once a week.

So, the food at Starbucks has always sucked.  That’s just a given, you don’t go the Starbucks to enjoy their scones and rice krispies treats right?

So I was delighted when I heard that Starbucks had worked out a huge deal with La Boulange, a popular bakery in San Francisco, and that they’d be bringing those treats to their stores.  I’d heard great things about La Boulange, so why wouldn’t it be great?  Well leave it to a huge corporation to screw it up.

Boulange

Finally, La Boulange made it to a store near me, here in Raleigh.  I figured, if for nothing else, let me try this food to try to report to my sweet blog followers what I’d found.  Okay.  I ordered one of those croissant things with the like treat cooked into the middle.  I went with a tomato-y and cheese one.  It was prior to nutrition facts being posted, and I couldn’t find them online, so I took my best educated guess as to what my best option was.

It was so gross.  Not a little gross, it was super nasty.  It was soggy in the middle, and smelled like cafeteria food.  So of course, I ate it.

It was soggy.  And that’s all I need to say.  The minute I get something soggy, I’m out folks.

I’ve researched the choices Starbucks had made, as well, by checking up on the nutrition facts that they’ve posted (thank you, thank you Jesus for folks now being required to post those), and it’s awful.  Barely anything under 300 calories, and the one “healthy” item?  The reduced fat pumpkin cream cheese loaf which weighs in with 10g of fat and 34g of sugar?  Uhhh, no thanks, I’m totally good.

Long story short, I’m sure La Boulange is awesome.  I love boulangeries, and I actually worked in a bakery for some time after grad school.  I have nothing against delicious treats.  But when someone comes in and perverts them?  Oh yes, we’ve got big problems.

Remember our friend, Maria Kang? Maria, on #tbt

| cheriarmour

Maria was our hot mama who posted the photo on the web that created a viral firestorm.  If you missed my post on the action, click here.  I wasn’t sure that I loved her tagline, but I still am pretty impressed that she looks so great after 3 kids.  After working so hard at fitness before kids, I imagine it must be difficult to get back there after you have not one, or two, but three critters to chase around after.  It definitely makes me think twice before making an excuse to skip the sweat session.

Maria KangWell #tbt came around, and Maria posted this old photo of herself.  And I have to say it now, I’m now 100% jealous, and motivated to work a little harder.  Her “before” photo is really nothing to be ashamed of, she looks fabulous.

From her original photo, I’m still not sure I loved her tag, but kudos, our hot mom quite obviously made some steps to get where she is.  So Maria, kudos.  You were obviously a very pretty girl before, and obviously very hardworking after.  (She seems intelligent and well-spoken too, so she rocks.)

I was weight-gain pescatarian girl :(

| cheriarmour

Shape magazine posted this article from POPSUGAR Fitness.  How I Gained Weight as a Vegan: Don’t Let It Happen to You!  Check it out.  And it’s so true.  Everything she says is hella true.  I was that girl.

And by the end of school, beginning of graduate school I’d gotten to here.

ME…and had to fix it to go to here

Me 2

A good, 40ish or so pound difference.

Now look.  I know, I’m not delusional.  I recognize that I’m no ‘Biggest Loser’ Contestant, but I had to take off some lbs.  It wasn’t going a good way. 

And it wasn’t completely about the way I looked, either.  I felt tired and sluggish all the time.  But I won’t front.  I totally wasn’t confident in the way I looked, in particular, I hated my stomach, but I think that more had to do with the fact that I never worked out, and I generally felt crappy.  That crappy feeling, from eating crappy food, will spill over and cloud your view of yourself, so it was just a nasty cycle.

Pescatarianism/Vegetarianism

I transitioned to a veg/pescatarian lifestyle my sophomore year when I was living with this girl.  The food at Elon at the time wasn’t my fave, and truthfully, I’d never really been a beef person.  Chicken was my friend (let’s perpetuate the stereotype, Cheri), and that was the one thing I’d have trouble giving up.  I’d switch back and forth between Pescatarianism (eating no animal products but fish) and Vegetarianism, and despite the fact that I wasn’t chowing down on Big Macs, I packed on a little bit of pudge without even really noticing until swimsuit season snuck up on me.  And that was always traumatic.

But the main reasons why my veg-ish lifestyle packed on a little pudge?  

    • I worked out sporadically, at best.  Once a week here.  A few weeks off.  Once there.  Off.  And I never gained a sense of why and how exercising was important to maintaining a healthy weight.  Plus, when you exercise more, you don’t necessarily want to eat all the crappy stuff that’s gonna make a workout miserable.  Now, I’ve changed it by doing something every day, with about one day off a week.  I run, run, run, cycle, yoga, and then I teach class on the side.
    • I didn’t realize how important diet was in how your body looked.  I literally remember one of the Real Housewives of Orange County, Alexis Bellino, saying how diet was like 80% of how your body looked, and feeling horrified in the knowledge that if I were ever to lose the bottom part of my belly that I didn’t like, that I’d have to stop drinking Cokes to stay awake in class.  Which brings me to this…
    • I drank my calories.  I had no sense of what percentage of my calories were liquid.  I drank Cokes to stay awake in class.  I drank fruity alcoholic beverages with whipped cream on top.  I just was doing too much.  I’ve since switched to waters, sparkling waters, Kombucha, and nonfat lattés with skim.  Obviously, I’ll treat myself, to a Gatorade or a fancy drink from Starbucks, but definitely, it’s more far and few between than it was.
    • I didn’t know how to read a label/what a calories was.  I had this abstract sense of labels and calories, but not really how it applied to me and what I was eating.  It really wasn’t until I consulted with a nutritionist at Camp Pocono Trails, where I was working, that it made sense.  And I kept track of everything that I put into my mouth until I had a firm grasp of what I was eating.
    • I was still eating fast food. I can’t even…okay.  I ate at the most disgusting places.  All vegetarian mind you, but all disgusting.  One of which included the Filet-o-Fish from McDonalds with the nasty piece of cheese and a glob of tartar sauce on top (who puts cheese on a piece of cod?!) and the Sampler Platter from Applebees, which included mozzarella sticks, spinach and artichoke dip, and cheese quesadillas.  All of these items were fried in some way, shape, or form.  I am so kind of ashamed when I tell people that.
    • I didn’t eat any “whole” foods.  I didn’t eat salads.  I didn’t read labels to see what ingredients (ingrediences, right Teresa Guidice?) foods included.  And I never packed my own lunch.  How can you maintain a healthy weight when you don’t even know who’s making your food, right?

So if you’re contemplating vegetarianism or veganism, bravo! However, if you’re doing it for weight loss, you’re barking up the wrong tree. You can just as well fall into a nasty trap and gain a ton.  Balance is absolutely key and without all the pieces of a healthy lifestyle, it’s just not gonna work.

From my vantage point….

| cheriarmour

So I teach group fitness.  Which I’m sure you know if you’ve been around for a while cause I’m a dork and I love it.

I love it.  I knew from the moment I stepped into Koh Herlong’s Zumba class that I would love it.  My eyes would well up at a particularly beautiful song when I started like in 2003.  And that carried into teaching.  I’m obsessed.  When I hear a good salsa, I’ll Shazam it.   I love to salsa out on Thursday nights.  And I take every rare opportunity to choreograph something cool for my students.

The first thing people usually say to me when I offer them an invite to class? “Oh my word, I’m so embarrassed, I can’t dance worth a lick!”

Hohkay, calm down.  If I cared, or anyone else did for that matter how you danced, I’da quit long ago.

I will always maintain that we, as fitness instructors, we don’t make fun of our students.  Ever.  We just don’t.  Even if a student does something hysterical, I would jump off a cliff if I was giggling so hard that they thought I was making fun of them and then they never came back to class.  That said, there’s like a distinct 4 people who come to every class.

  1. The person who hides out in the back row, and thinks I can’t see them in the mirror.  I can see you I can see you.  Also, I walk around A LOT so I see you.  Even when you giggled when I dropped it low.  I saw that.
  2. The person who stands at the window and stares in.  Come in!  (Or leave, cause you makin me nervous.)
  3. The guy whose wife forced him to come.  I’m sorry.  As a bonus you get to stare at a lot of butts. If that’s what you’re into.
  4. The woman who’s bound to become an instructor herself.  This chick usually brings me to tears.  This girl comes every single week.  She knows your routines.  She picks up quickly on new ones.  She comes with a friend.  She comes by herself.  And when she catches your eye, you accidentally burst into tears, cause you know that was you a few years ago.  I’ve heard.
  5. The overachiever.   I love this girl.  She usually has a sexual outfit to wear.  She coordinates.  Does she know what’s going on in class?  Nope.  And she doesn’t really care.   She stand there, on the front row, and she don’t care who sees.  She loves to dance/step/lift weights/whatever, and what the teacher is doing doesn’t concern her. Because she’s dancing to the music of her mind.  Go head, do your thang.

So do we notice this stuff?  Yes, absolutely.  Are we going to make fun of you and tell you not to come back?  Absolutely not.  Look for whatever class speaks to you, and before you know it, you’ll be a total workout out fiend – whatever your workout of choice may be.