poop

Reasons why your parents wouldn’t let you have a dog as a kid.

| cheriarmour

This absolutely adorable ball of light came into our lives a few weeks ago.

photo 2

Between her, my husband-to-be, and my orange cat, I’m not really quite sure where more joy could come into my life.  But with that absolute bliss, comes all the work of having a dog.  And now, it kind of makes sense why, when we all were kids, our parents bitched and moaned and complained whenever we asked for a dog.  And here it is.

I’m in love with Coco, but she is like having a little being to care for.  Here’s why your parents wouldn’t let you get a dog as a kid.  They didn’t want to do all this stuff.

  1. You have to have that dog on a regular food/bathroom schedule or they will poop on your floor.  I love this dog.  But if I don’t wake up early and walk her, feed her then walk her, leave on my lunch break and walk her, and promptly walk her after I work, I will have a poopy surprise on the floor.
  2. Your dog is expensive!  Luckily, when my precious fur baby came to us, she was fixed and was already microchipped, which can cost you close to $300.  But between her food, her clothes (yes, little girl wears a jacket), and her snacks, I spend extra money on her each week to make sure that she knows she is loved, and is allowed to have treats.
  3. You have to vacuum multiple times a week to keep fur from getting everywhere.  Coco sleeps on the edge of the bed, and rolls around on the carpet all day.  In order to prevent the situation from becoming a hoarders stinky house situation, I’m vacuuming constantly, and making sure that fur isn’t collecting in every crevice of the house.  I’m also really really excited to buy a house with my husband-to-be that doesn’t involve carpets because at least I can roomba fur, right?
  4. You have to pick up poop with only a bag between the poop and your hand.  I live in a beautiful apartment complex, and in order to be courteous to my neighbors, I take little baggies out with me when I walk her, and pick up her poop when she goes.  There’s really almost nothing more disgusting than watching your dog squat, then scooping up her hot, steaming poo with your plastic hand.

But despite all this hard work, I cannot stress enough how much joy this dog has brought to my life.  But Mom and Dad, I totally get it.

What surprised you about having a pet?  

3 Days. (Question for my running buds.)

| cheriarmour

3 days until the Greensboro marathon.  I suppose it’s time to start making my list, my pyscho list of all the things I need.

But before then, I have a serious question.

It’s really quite horrid.

But last marathon, I wasted almost 10 minutes looking for a bathroom, and then executing the bidness, because port-a-potties horrify me in all sorts of ways.

There are a few precautions I can take to make sure this doesn’t happen. Like caffeine-free gels and Gus, or saving the caffeine for the very end so it barely matters.  But I saw a tip a few issues of Runner’s World back that recommended pounding a shot of Imodium before the big day.

imodium-coupon

For some reason, this really concerns me.  I don’t want to like, stop my body’s natural reaction to all the jostling, the nerves and the nutrition, but is it worth it to spare me a trip to the gross bathrooms and shave a little bit off my time?

 

Let’s talk about poop, baybee! Running makes you move!

| cheriarmour

I’m not talking about some chub jiggling.  I’m not talking about the booty bouncing.  I’m talking about p-o-o-p.  I don’t want to say it, so we just have to spell it.  (My mom reads this blog, so we can’t get too graphic, because she will call me and yell.

If you run any sort of distance you know what I’m talking about.  You’re in the groove, and all of a sudden, the urge hits you.  The urge to ::ahem:: evacuate the dance floor, if you will, hits you.  There can be a number of reasons for this.  1, if you’re running in the morning, it’s part of the natural cycle of waking up and getting yourself together.  2, if you eat a little breakfast before you head out, your body wants to move things along!  It’s natural.  3, if you’re completing a long run and you’re taking gels, the combination of sugars and/or caffeine can give you a kick in the gut.  And finally, 4, if you’re racing, sometimes nerves can get the best of you, and set your stuff aflame.

So what do you do when you’re running, and all of a sudden, it hits you?

-In a race?  Hit the port-a-johns. Avoid looking down, make sure your quads are strong, and HOVER. Just hover.  Douse yourself in Purell, and keep on your way.

-My least advisable option is to take an Immodium before a big race. I’m not too big a fan of this option because it freaks me out to artificially plug things up.  Unless you catch the stomach flu and are severely dehydrated before a race, I’d skip this one.

-Before a long run or a race? Hit the throne so you can clean house before you find yourself 15 miles from home with a bewildered look on your face.  Skip the super fibrous veggies just before and clean house in the days leading up to a race or a long run.  Don’t eat weird or exotic (to you) foods just before a long run.

-If you really find yourself upset often, try switching to a non-caffeinated gel.

– Trees. If you’ve ever run a long race, people will regularly leave the course on the nature-y parts.  Don’t look at what they’re doing.  You know what they’re doing.  Don’t peek.  That’s weird.  You can do it too if you find yourself in a pickle.

-Finally. Finally. Finally. Map out the bidnesses in the area that will allow you to use their facilities. Some places (understandably) won’t let you use their restrooms, presumably because they don’t want folks getting dressed/having relations/using Listerine/getting drunk and throwing up in their places.  It’s happened to them before, so they not with it. Coffee shops that you frequent in real life, the YMCA, sandwich shops, or places that you worked in high school usually will be nice about the bathroom stops.  Use them.  Thank the folks who let you use them.  And make sure you frequent and patronize these bidnesses when you’re not running as well so you build a lovely rapport with these owners.

For those of you who live in Raleigh?  I’m working on a database to store those bidness (business) owners who are willing to let us use their facilities, and who might even spare a cup of water on a good day.  Look out for the info!