marriage

The big announcement (that wasn’t).

| cheriarmour

So, this is kind of a weekend recap.  But remember a few days ago, when I told you I might have a big announcement?

Let’s talk about it.

So this weekend, we did our first big kind of marriage-type decision making thing together.

We started house-hunting a little while ago, and the thought of having a home with my husband-to-be made me giddy.

I wanted something older.  He wanted something newer.  We both kind of wanted something inside of the beltline due to the fact that we simply just love that area.  And a few weeks ago, Austin emailed me a home by KB that was to be built in the area that we were looking in.  It was in our price range, and there was an option for it to be the perfect color.

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And did I mention it was in our price range?

So we started the process to buy the home, and on Friday after work, we headed down to the office to sign the contract on the home.

…and then we backed out.

It wasn’t right. The home was starting to climb up in price, and as we looked at each other about to sign the contract, it became more and more clear that we were not doing the right thing.

The poor woman helping us was really disappointed – as we walked out of the office I’m sure she could see her commission disappearing, but we did what was best for us at the time.

So the big announcement that was to be is not. We were disappointed that we didn’t walk away with a home for us, but we hope to come back to you with an announcement sometime soon 🙂 Happy house-hunting to us!

Wedding Wednesday: Finanaces

| cheriarmour

So in like, 3 months and 24 days (which I didn’t know til I blogged about how much time it was gonna be until our Wedding Date), I get to marry this hunk.

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Now, I’ve talked openly and candidly about my finances here, but it was important to do that with my husband-to-be, and that meant being really open about my student loan debit and my spending patterns.

And I was really really embarrassed to sit down and talk with him about it.

Austin has a really, really good handle on his finances, and makes a ton more money than I do, and I can learn so much from him (and I have in our years together).  I make a social worker’s salary, and have a decent amount of debt from graduate school mostly, that I’m working on.  But we’ve gotten together every day for the last few days and created a budget, and gone over every single piece of paperwork involving my student loans, and for once, I don’t feel like I’m in a horrifying panic over the state of my loans.

Like I said last week, paying down more of my loans, and still having a little something left over to save, means some actual focus and work, but thankfully, I have a partner who knows what the heck it takes, and is helping me focus on the big picture.  And instead of being mortified and embarrassed, once we got down to the real work, I felt comforted that I was able to share my “burden” with someone else.

In other wedding news?

  • Save-the-dates are OUT!  I will do a big reveal next week, so I can make sure folks get theirs before I put all their business out there.
  • Wedding bands are purchased!  Just waiting for them to come out,
  • Invites?  The ball is rolling, but I have no clue what the wording on the invites is gonna say.
  • My mom screamed at me for not inviting one of her friends.  I am not a cold, heartless person, but she literally told me that she didn’t want to invite this person because they hadn’t been picking up her phone calls as of late.  Well she texted me last night to ask if I invited this person, and then yelled at me when I said no.  I WAS JUST FOLLOWING ORDERS!  Ugh.
  • Catering is thisclose to being finalized.
  • We’d already booked the photogs a while back, but in the course of some emails we’d been sending back and forth, I kinda let them know I needed them for our (very late) engagement photos and bridal portraits for you guys to put gifts under when I get married.

To do in this week?

  • The biggie is the wedding website HAS to get some progress on it.  Maybe I’ll work on that this weekend.

I am SO happy that things are getting done.

How do you keep up with your monthly budget/big ticket expenses?

The boy behind the blog.

| cheriarmour

You guys every wonder who my man-friend is?

You can lie and say you don’t, but the truth is that I can see everything that you google to find my blog, and one of ya’lls nosey selves has been googling to find out what my relationship situation is.  And typically, I won’t talk about him a ton, but this is Austin, the man I’m set to marry in a few very very short months.

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A little bit on the boy behind my blog.

  • We met in grad school, when we both were working at NC State’s Department of Campus Recreation.  He was a cycling instructor, and I was a Zumba instructor.  I was dating someone else when we first met.  It didn’t work out, and I like to tell myself that Austin jumped at the chance to ask me on a date.
  • Our first date was at the Rockford in Downtown Raleigh.  On this date, I ordered a burrito without chicken and he ordered one with.  They gave me that burrito with chicken and we didn’t notice til I ate about a quarter of it.
  • Austin is stupid smart.  He’s very math-minded and analytical, and these are really really useful skills for me to learn and to have, since I’m all artsy and loosey-goosey.
  • Austin likes to eat everything in sight.  EXCEPT mayo.  If someone brings him out a sandwich with mayo, he gets really really sad.
  • Austin pretended to like the Real Housewives of Atlanta for a short time when we were first dating.
  • Austin loves the NFL to the point where we scheduled our wedding so it wouldn’t interfere with his fantasy draft.
  • I once hit Austin’s car when I was rushing off to do something and he barely go mad (probably because my car got jacked up, and not his).
  • Austin want for me to feature him on the blog for eating disgusting items off fast-food menus, and then writing about it.  He wants to start with Taco Bell breakfast I think.  He also makes a habit of trying fish sandwiches from fast food joints, and then comparing them in-depth.

And that, ladies in gents, is the boy behind the blog.

Wedding Wednesday!

| cheriarmour

I really can’t believe it’s Wednesday, and I’m kicking myself trying to figure out where the time is going.  Is anyone else feeling like the time is seriously rocketing past us?  I will be middle-aged before we know it, and you’ll be there reading, and I’ll be sitting here writing about how it is to be working out as a middle-aged interracially married woman.

That will be fun.

Anyhoo, let’s chatty chat because it’s HUMP DAY.  Woop woop!  Sike, I’m kinda done with that joke.

Okay, so where are we in this Wedding Wednesday process?

Well, for starters, the fact that I started linking up with Kristyn, who is unfortunately taking a break from blogging has really kept me accountable for some of the things that I need to get done because I don’t want to show up on a Wednesday or a Tuesday night with nothing to show you guys. It’s not cool!  Also Kristyn,  I will miss ya girl, but hopefully you’ll be around and giving a lot of commentary!

So where am I with wedding stuff?

I’m at a really really good place where I’ve actually started to get stuff done and schedule some appointments that we’ve really been needing to have.  Weddings Bands:  For starters, tomorrow, me and Austin are going to go get our wedding bands tomorrow.  I’ve shown you guys what I’m planning to get…

photo (9)Ignore the fact that my nails were not painted for once, and check out my ring(s).  I’m doing two rose gold eternity bands, and they look amazing either on their own or with my wedding band.  Austin is wanting to go with a tungsten carbide ring, which I think is impossibly sexy, and I like it a lot.  I kind of want to see what a rose gold band would look like on him too!  So the appointment for that is set tomorrow at 4pm and then we’re going to sushi.  Best. Evening. Ever.

Save-the-Dates:  A newly-married bride friend of mine told me about inkinvite.com, a service that allows people to log in, put in their addresses, and for you to be able to easily and quickly compile them into an organized space.  It’s cool because I’ve had to do minimal hounding to get people to give me their addresses because it’s so easy!  Thank God for a service like this.

And finally….

The invite list:  This has, by far, been one of the toughest parts of the planning process.  So our venue can only hold 150 people, which sounds like a lot, but it really really isn’t when you include your family, his family, and then the friends and things you might share.  I’m terrified that I’m leaving someone off, or that someone may get insulted by not receiving an invite.  I assure you, it’s (mostly) not personal with anyone, and I really want to have every single person I’ve ever seen in my life basically at my wedding, but we’re not made of money, and the venue literally can only fit 150 people.  What that boils down to, is people we care about and people who are special to us.  No more, and no less.

::Deep breath::

How’s your Wednesday going?  Any brides out there doing the same thing as I am? 

 

 

5 most memorable moments in life. (Part I)

| cheriarmour

Firstly, I’m having a blast of a time with the new camera that my future mother-in-law got me.  Seriously, I don’t think that you will be hearing any horror stories from me, she’s awesome.  I made sure to play with some filters, and took photos of brunch on Sunday morning with a friend.

DSC_0141 DSC_0142The place was Coquette in North Hills, and in addition to some delicious french toast, they had bottomless mimosas for like $10.  I’m not mad at it, plus I got to hang out with a friend who I’d not seen in a while 🙂  that is the literal best.

Anyhoo.  

I totally stole this idea from Sara at Loving on the Run, but it got me thinking – what are the 5 most memorable moments in my life (thus far)?  This one is tough, but I’ll do the best to get a few of the biggies together.

1.  This is really dorky, but my senior prom was pretty awesome.  I was a big reader in high school and in middle school, and I’d always read about proms and stuff, so I really built the magic up in my mind.  Senior prom was sick awesome, and I think that was one of the most fun nights that I ever had in high school  (and I’m 26 now).  I honestly just remember that I didn’t stop dancing the entire time.

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I’ll leave that right there….

2.  My entire experience at Elon University.  I’ve talked nonstop about how much I fell in love at Elon, but I really learned so much there.  I had incredible classes, incredible teachers, and incredible experiences there.  Incredible incredible incredible.

3.  Years and years ago, I dated someone, who, when I told him about my plan to become licensed in Zumba and teach classes, told me “You aren’t even athletic,” and made fun of me for wanting to try to teach.  I think he apologized later, but it still hurts to think that someone that cared about you could say something like that.  Years later, miles later, and plans later, sometimes when I’m feeling lazy, or when I’m feeling like I don’t want to work  I think about this, and it pushes me through a rough time  I AM athletic.  I AM fit.  I AM strong.  What someone says shouldn’t determine how you live your life.  And I’m so happy I went through with the licensing process, because it was the gateway to all the running I do now.  And I feel like it changed my life.

4.  Us.  Our first date, our second date, the whole getting-to-know you phase, and us, all the way to our engagement. 

308199_738548441023_853436731_n-1We’ve been together for almost three-and-a half years, and the entire process has been fun.  He started out as that guy I kinda was interested in, and he moved to being that guy that we would go on beer dates with each other, to this guy I went on a date with and now we’re getting married and having 5 babies.  Just kidding (kinda!).

5.  Running my first half-marathon.  My first half was the Hallowed Half in Wake Forest.  There are not any pictures unfortunately because Austin was out of town at a funeral, and the entire time I ran, I just thought about Austin, how much I loved him, how I needed to get back home to him, and how bad my inner thighs were chafed at the time.

Okay, so I think I have a few more, so I might split this up into parts, but this is what I got for my 5 most memorable (thus far).  I have some more, but we will get more into those at a later time.  Give me one of your favorite memories!

The Breakup Playlist

| cheriarmour

So super fun blogger Helene had a guest blogger post on this topic, and I couldn’t resist snatching this post up.

So I have had two, grown up, adult heartbreaks in my life.  Both times, I thought I was in love, and both times, when it ended, I honestly felt crushed, and felt like I would not be involved in a relationship again.  But with some time, some self-love, and a few dates with this guy…

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I am better than new (if you’re new, we’re getting married in August.)

But breakups are so shitty (sorry Mom), I’d like to help anyone who is going through one to not suffer the way I did.  So if any of you out there are going through a breakup, allow me to advise: it is GOING to suck, and probably for a while.  It’s imperative to do healthy things for you.  So more yoga, more salads, and less drinking.

And these songs. 

Best Thing I Never Had – Beyoncé

She’s gorgeous in this video, and singing along to this will at least make you feel like the other person is losing out 🙂  Doesn’t have to be true, but it’s allowed to feel like it.

Fearless – Colbie Caillat

“Go on, go on and break my heart, I’ll be okay, I’m fearless, you better believe I’m fearless, fearless.”  She’s getting broken up with.  Inviting it even.  And knows she’s gonna be okay.  Damn girl!

I’m Not Missing You – Stacie Orrico

She used to be a Christian singer.  She has a really cute mole.  And I listened to this song no less than 10,000 times after I broke up with this guy like my junior year in college.  I didn’t even realize how much I’d listened to it til iTunes calculated my Top 25 Most Played, and I saw that Stacie was number one, until this lady came along…

Every Time You Lie – Demi Lovato

My first year in grad school.  I moved to Raleigh for a boyfriend, and poof, as soon as I got here the relationship had dissolved.  But my relationship with Demi flourished!

Irreplaceable – Beyoncé

“So since I’m not your everything, how about I be nothing, nothing at all to you.”  I actually tear up during the live version of this song.

Realize – Colbie Caillat

This song actually brought me to tears once after my first real breakup.  I was up really really late one night, and watching music videos on MTV, and this came on.  She’s begging for it, and he doesn’t get it.  Colbie, guy’s a douche.

The One That Got Away – Katy Perry

This video.  You will cry.  And that is all.

So what have been your go-to breakup songs?  And don’t worry, we’re not all doom and gloom here, I will be posting later this week on my favorite luv songs ❤

Why we Work

| cheriarmour

Time for a mushy-gushy pre-Valentine’s Day post.

264558_696428549623_6702677_nI’m marrying this guy in 190 days.  And I couldn’t be more thrilled about it.

I could tell something was different about him, because from the beginning of our relationship, I really really protected it.  I didn’t talk about it a lot to others and I didn’t feel the need to gush to cover up some sort of shortcoming he might have had.  Trust me, I’ve been there.  He took me on real dates, not just to Applebees.  He insisted he pay, and I always felt safe with him.  And now, three, almost four years later, here’s why we work.  

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  • We’re really different.  But our insides match. We’re obviously interracial.  I am all over the place, wildly creative, and he is analytical, and he thinks things through before he does them.  I decide to do things, and do them.  But inside, there are a few things that are really important to us.  Health/wellness.  Animals.  And treating others the way they deserve to be treated.  These are our cardinal rules.262787_1937735048582_6179921_n
  • When we fight, we fight fair.  You’re a rotten dirty liar if you want to claim that you have a relationship with someone and that you never fight.  And we do.  But when we do, we fight fair.  We don’t hit or scream or call names.  And if we slip and do one of these, we put it in reverse, and asses where we need to apologize and do better next time.  Besides the hitting, we’re not animals.  We don’t do that.
  • He supports me.   I say I want to run a marathon, and he watches me cross the finish line.  When I started this blog, he was all about it.  When we first started dating, and I went to audition for X-Factor, he gave me his iPod FM transmitter thing for my car, and kissed me goodbye.  I made it that year, and part of it was the support. Similarly, whatever he needs or wants to do?  I want to give it to him.  If he wants to start a business?  A new website?  Wants to take apart the washing machine?  I don’t get it, but I will be behind him.
  • I feel safe with him.  When I used to run into trouble, I would call my Dad.  Now I’m a grown-up, and getting married, and I feel 100% cool calling him for help.  He can change a tire, one drove to DC to pick me up when I was stranded in the middle of the night, and dusted the snow off my car and my steps today.  It means so much.

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  • We laugh together.  A bunch.  I could go on for days about our inside jokes but that’s why they inside, playa!
  • He keeps me grounded.  I am a weirdo.  A beautiful, tall weirdo.  And sometimes, my ideas get a little crazy.  I adopted a dog out of the blue a few weeks ago.  I still did it, but he asked me all the important questions.  And I keep him fun!  Life wouldn’t be any fun without my randomness.
  • He went out in a snowstorm to get me coffee today.  Can I please tell you that I didn’t ask him to do this, it was a surprise.  But it was still a nice surprise and it made me feel like he pays attention to what I like 🙂 .

This list is by no means exhaustive, but it’s what comes to my mind when I look at our differences and still can see why we work.  Big ups to Life of Bon for the sweet idea on the day before V-Day!

whywework

 

And if you love it, grab that image ^^ and link up!  Why do you and your significant other work?  

Things every bride-to-be goes through.

| cheriarmour

But before that – look how gorgeous I looked at the gym yesterday!

photo-1I had to run my 7-miler on the treadmill today, and I paused to snap a pic of my gorgeous sweaty face before I finished.  Once I broke through the first 4 miles of horrific boredom, I was able to finish.  But I’m begging the gods of weather, please, please stop with this horrible weather.  I can honestly say I’ve never logged so much mileage on a treadmill, and this winter has been awful.  I really thought last winter when I was afraid I was going to lose a finger was the worst, but this is the absolute worst.

Moving right along!

So, this thing is not going to turn into a wedding blog, but you will get a few little morsels of wedding brownie.

Wedding stuff is really fun.  I love my husband-to-be, and I bring to you today, things that future brides go through.

  1. You’re not yet engaged, but you swear you’re gonna be the coolest effing bride to ever walk the face of the earth, should someone want to marry you.  “I bet you we’ll just get married at the courthouse, and have a great big huge party later!”  You swear you’ll wear like a white dress from ModCloth, and you don’t even need a diamond to be happy.
  2. The ring is on your finger, and you’re blissfully, unadulturatedly happy.  I literally called people that I hadn’t spoken to on the phone for years.  I would tell the cashier at Whole Foods.  We didn’t have a venue, but I was doing backflips and envisioning me in some insane dress.
  3. “I am an independent woman! I will NOT be changing my last name because I make my own money and pay my own bills so kiss my ass!”
  4. OMG I’m getting married.  What does this mean?!  Any bride who wants to pretend like they did not feel mortal anxiety at some point during their engagement is a liar.
  5. Oh em geeee I’m getting married!  And all you do is dance around all day cause you’re so excited.  And I’m confident that we will be together for a looooong time.  ::evil laughter::

So I’m not at the point where I’m freaking out stressed.  But did I miss any of the phases?  Especially you married ladies!  

Babies on the brain.

| cheriarmour

We’re getting married in about 7 months ::gulp cause I feel like I haven’t done anything:: and people are at it, asking those rude questions that are none of their business really, or premature.

Literally, hours after we were engaged?

“Have you set a date?”

Why would we have set a date, we literally got done calling our parents 40 minutes ago.

“Are your parents okay with you being interracial?”

Yes. But if they weren’t, do you think I’d share it with you, a total stranger?

“Did you only date white guys before or is this the first?”

First.  It’s not like I have some weird fetish.

“Can I be invited? Please?! Can I have a plus one?”

Wasn’t really planning on it.  And now you’ve made it very awkward because the venue can only fit a certain amount of people.

But the one that I’ve gotten a few questions on, and the one I’m just not sure on, is the kid question.  Do we want kids, and how many?  And quite honestly, I can say, we have no idea, and this is the one idea that we’re completely both absolutely sure we’re on the fence about.

I grew up in a big family by today’s standards – there were four of us, and I love being able to tell folks about all my siblings, and the thought of not having a full house is sorta weird, but there are a few things that terrify me, mortally, about kids, and I’m sure I need to get past this before I even think about kids.

 

  • Student loans.  Mine are not paid off.  And the thought of bringing a child into that mix is chilling.
  • Money.  In general, kids are spensy, and I’m obsessed with the idea of being extremely financially independent – something we’ll touch on a little later when we talk about my resolutions.
  • This is about to sound awful, terrible, and selfish.  And I know that, so I’m prepped to get screamed at.  But I am a little concerned about my weight and what a baby might do to my body.  I’ve been told that once you have a kid, that your priorities shift, and you may not be as concerned with your body.  But I sort of like to run.  I like to work out.  I like my abs and my arms, and I’m worried about how hard it will be to maintain that once I have a kid, or two, or four, like my mom did.

 

Kara Goucher

      I mean, Kara Goucher (pictured above) returned to her sexy Olympiad self within a year, but she runs literally like 100 miles a week.  Like.  How can I even compete?  Will my exercise participants take me as seriously if I’m not in tip top?

 

  • What if I suck at it?  No backsies when it comes to kids, ya know?  And if I suck, I’m screwing a kid up.  I can’t live with that!

But at any rate, I figure, we’ll make that decision when the time comes, but for the time being, I’m totally willing to hold your baby for a while, just to borrow, while I decide!