You guys every wonder who my man-friend is?
You can lie and say you don’t, but the truth is that I can see everything that you google to find my blog, and one of ya’lls nosey selves has been googling to find out what my relationship situation is. And typically, I won’t talk about him a ton, but this is Austin, the man I’m set to marry in a few very very short months.
A little bit on the boy behind my blog.
- We met in grad school, when we both were working at NC State’s Department of Campus Recreation. He was a cycling instructor, and I was a Zumba instructor. I was dating someone else when we first met. It didn’t work out, and I like to tell myself that Austin jumped at the chance to ask me on a date.
- Our first date was at the Rockford in Downtown Raleigh. On this date, I ordered a burrito without chicken and he ordered one with. They gave me that burrito with chicken and we didn’t notice til I ate about a quarter of it.
- Austin is stupid smart. He’s very math-minded and analytical, and these are really really useful skills for me to learn and to have, since I’m all artsy and loosey-goosey.
- Austin likes to eat everything in sight. EXCEPT mayo. If someone brings him out a sandwich with mayo, he gets really really sad.
- Austin pretended to like the Real Housewives of Atlanta for a short time when we were first dating.
- Austin loves the NFL to the point where we scheduled our wedding so it wouldn’t interfere with his fantasy draft.
- I once hit Austin’s car when I was rushing off to do something and he barely go mad (probably because my car got jacked up, and not his).
- Austin want for me to feature him on the blog for eating disgusting items off fast-food menus, and then writing about it. He wants to start with Taco Bell breakfast I think. He also makes a habit of trying fish sandwiches from fast food joints, and then comparing them in-depth.
And that, ladies in gents, is the boy behind the blog.
I started this last Wednesday when I previewed the March of the Brides with Diamonds Direct Crabtree, and I’m keeping it going!!! I’m essatly 149 days away from the big day (eep) and it’s time to get serious. I think I officially got serious last week when I kind of looked at the official wedding countdown and realized that no, we weren’t throwing a Superbowl Party, but that we were throwing a wedding.
Anyhoo, let’s move along to talk about something that’s not so fun. And something that I probably need your help with.
So regardless of how you guys choose to do the money after you get married, whether you smoosh it all together, or keep it completely separate, there’s going to be some merging because you probably want to be on the same cell phone plan. You might want to have both names on the deed when you buy a house. You might want to buy an SUV together. You get what I’m saying. And then the issues of who makes how much will arise, and if you’re like me, you’ve talked about it already.
I am a social worker by day, and Austin is an engineer. Social workers generally do not make a lot of money, and engineers make a little more. And though Austin has never in the least made me feel this way, I fear, in the tiniest spot, hidden in the darkest corner of my brain, that because I make so little and he makes a good bit more, that I’m considered the “dead weight” in the relationship.
I know with my brain that it’s a silly thing to think, but sometimes, usually when I’m feeling self-conscious about other things, my self-consciousness about money will creep back in, and I feel the feverish need to find some crazy job, completely unrelated to my field that will make me lots of money so that financially, Austin and I will stand on equal footing.
I know that’s crazy.
But does any one else ever feel this way? How do I push these nasty feelings away and focus on my skills, rather than my self-perceived shortcomings?
But before that – look how gorgeous I looked at the gym yesterday!
I had to run my 7-miler on the treadmill today, and I paused to snap a pic of my gorgeous sweaty face before I finished. Once I broke through the first 4 miles of horrific boredom, I was able to finish. But I’m begging the gods of weather, please, please stop with this horrible weather. I can honestly say I’ve never logged so much mileage on a treadmill, and this winter has been awful. I really thought last winter when I was afraid I was going to lose a finger was the worst, but this is the absolute worst.
Moving right along!
So, this thing is not going to turn into a wedding blog, but you will get a few little morsels of wedding brownie.
Wedding stuff is really fun. I love my husband-to-be, and I bring to you today, things that future brides go through.
- You’re not yet engaged, but you swear you’re gonna be the coolest effing bride to ever walk the face of the earth, should someone want to marry you. “I bet you we’ll just get married at the courthouse, and have a great big huge party later!” You swear you’ll wear like a white dress from ModCloth, and you don’t even need a diamond to be happy.
- The ring is on your finger, and you’re blissfully, unadulturatedly happy. I literally called people that I hadn’t spoken to on the phone for years. I would tell the cashier at Whole Foods. We didn’t have a venue, but I was doing backflips and envisioning me in some insane dress.
- “I am an independent woman! I will NOT be changing my last name because I make my own money and pay my own bills so kiss my ass!”
- OMG I’m getting married. What does this mean?! Any bride who wants to pretend like they did not feel mortal anxiety at some point during their engagement is a liar.
- Oh em geeee I’m getting married! And all you do is dance around all day cause you’re so excited. And I’m confident that we will be together for a looooong time. ::evil laughter::
So I’m not at the point where I’m freaking out stressed. But did I miss any of the phases? Especially you married ladies!