I started this last Wednesday when I previewed the March of the Brides with Diamonds Direct Crabtree, and I’m keeping it going!!! I’m essatly 149 days away from the big day (eep) and it’s time to get serious. I think I officially got serious last week when I kind of looked at the official wedding countdown and realized that no, we weren’t throwing a Superbowl Party, but that we were throwing a wedding.
Anyhoo, let’s move along to talk about something that’s not so fun. And something that I probably need your help with.
So regardless of how you guys choose to do the money after you get married, whether you smoosh it all together, or keep it completely separate, there’s going to be some merging because you probably want to be on the same cell phone plan. You might want to have both names on the deed when you buy a house. You might want to buy an SUV together. You get what I’m saying. And then the issues of who makes how much will arise, and if you’re like me, you’ve talked about it already.
I am a social worker by day, and Austin is an engineer. Social workers generally do not make a lot of money, and engineers make a little more. And though Austin has never in the least made me feel this way, I fear, in the tiniest spot, hidden in the darkest corner of my brain, that because I make so little and he makes a good bit more, that I’m considered the “dead weight” in the relationship.
I know with my brain that it’s a silly thing to think, but sometimes, usually when I’m feeling self-conscious about other things, my self-consciousness about money will creep back in, and I feel the feverish need to find some crazy job, completely unrelated to my field that will make me lots of money so that financially, Austin and I will stand on equal footing.
I know that’s crazy.
But does any one else ever feel this way? How do I push these nasty feelings away and focus on my skills, rather than my self-perceived shortcomings?