Guys, hold the phones. It’s actually warm and sunny in North Carolina, so I’m taking full advantage by blogging a little on my lunch outside of the building. If you can believe it, I’m actually sorta hot? But I’m not really going to even think that because I don’t want the rain gods to get upset and wallop us with 12 straight days of rainfall.
And keep SC in your thoughts – there’s still a lot of flooding there that has not yet receded. I’ve sort of joked about how miserable the rain made me, but I can at least say that my home is in one piece.
Onto this week’s edition of things I just don’t get. This was sort of inspired by Tay‘s post on Miley Cyrus. And she raises some valid wtf moments. Do you follow her on Instagram? It makes no sense. None whatsoever. And I really liked her last album, but I’m not sure I can do it anymore.
Things I Don’t Get
Not working out. What I do get, is that we all have reasons. If you look at Maslow’s Heierachy of needs (helllloooo MSW), if your basic needs aren’t being met, lifting weights isn’t really a consideration, right? And why should it be. But if we all considered taking even a 30-minute walk a day and placed it on the same level of importance as we did as brushing our teeth and taking showers, maybe things could look a whole lot different. Remember, the purpose of working out isn’t to get a six-pack. It’s for YOU. It’s for YOUR health. It’s for YOUR mental health. It’s for your SPIRITUAL health. It’s not something that you should see as optional. So no, it doesn’t mean that you should be splurging for a fancy gym membership or wearing Lululemon all day with a topknot. But should you be walking? Maybe jogging? Doing SOMETHING? Yes.
Mushrooms. They are terrible and disgusting. The worst part, in my mind, of being a vegetarian/pescatarian/vegan is that everyone just assumes you want a giant mushroom on a sandwich. I don’t. I never will.
Donald Trump. I keep waiting for the punchline that never comes.
Old people texts/tweets/posts on social media. I am a child of Facebook. Facebook was a thing when I came to school in 2005, and at first, only college students with a .edu address were allowed to register with an account. This is not at all to say that old people shouldn’t be allowed on Twitter, to text, or on social media, but they need to play by the rules
No weird selfies. Selfies SHOULD be flattering. And not embarrassing to your children.
No one-word responses to texts or emails. “K” is never appropriate. At least, “K :)” so people don’t know you’re being passive aggressive.
Do not sign a text. “-Uncle Phil” We know it’s you. You’re my uncle. And your number has been saved in my phone since 2003, when I got my phone.
Please salute your emails. Even with a name. “Cheri,” works. But don’t rattle off whatever dumb crap is going on in your head without even letting me know you’re in the house. It’s rude.
Fantasy football. That’s about all I’ll say on that.
Also, do you ever watch reality television? And they bleep the word asshole, but they only bleep the “hole” part. Which seems sort of struggly because I always thought the world “ass” was the bad part. But maybe it’s because of the vulgarity of the world “hole”. I don’t know. Not important I suppose.
As I go through life, I’m generally a happy person. Fun fact: I didn’t used to be that way, I was quite a sassafrass when I first moved here, but that’s cause I was miserable and I wasn’t doing yoga and working out and I didn’t consciously choose happiness.
But anyhoo, sometimes, I see things as I’m going through my day. I think to myself, “man, you are an asshole, especially as of late when every single person on social media considers them self a guru of race relations, the democratic/republican party, artists receiving full compensation for their music, and black hair.
So here it is folks, your handy-dandy guide to whether or not you’re an asshole.
You may be are an asshole if:
You don’t tip appropriately at restaurants. I’ve read those articles where people talk about the fact that they shouldn’t have to tip, blah blah, and it should be included. Well guess what? It’s not. Waitstaff make about $2.13 an hour and live off the tips you give them. And if you don’t like that, go home and make your own food. (Now if you are in receipt of bad service, that certainly another thing, and you really should contact the manager at that point and work it out with him/her.)
You don’t put your cart back at the grocery store. I get it. You’ve got kids. Your arms are full. But it’s just rude to put your cart in the islands at the store. Because when you do, someone either has to chase them around a parking lot, or someone has to fish it out of the island. Pro tip: if you really feel frazzled, ask the associate to call someone to walk you out, unload your groceries for you, and take your cart back.
You don’t give a shit about politics. This is a direct quote. Like a direct quote from a gentleman who was working the coffee counter at a local shop here. I think we were kind of shooting the breeze about Donald Trump running for office [Jim Halpert stare] when this gentleman told me, “I really don’t give a shit about politics.” Cool dude! Not. I don’t claim to be a specialist, but I really do my darnedest to stay on top of what and who I’m voting for. I don’t think it’s fair that we live in such an awesome country where potholes get filled, and the firetrucks come to your house when you call, and we have schools, and you just don’t care about politics. Sure, this country is far from perfect, but it’s something that we all should be invested in.
You comment on my body. This is something that I’ve discussed with the girls I work with. Often, and we’re talking like weekly, a guy at the Y will make a comment on one of our bodies. I’ve gotten comments on my legs. One girl has gotten a comment on her weight (she’s lost some for her wedding). Yet another has gotten a comment on her walk. A man once asked if “this is the YMCA or Hugh Hefner’s house,” implying that I looked like a playmate? This is not how you relate to a woman. It’s gross. And it’s not flattering. Pro tip: If you wouldn’t want someone talking to your kid that way, you shouldn’t talk to folks that way either.
You’re racist/sexist/ageist/ or in general, you discriminate, openly or otherwise. Thanks to our upbringing, we all have our prejudices. And it’s not cool. But it’s YOUR job to remember that a human being is a human being, and deserves the same dignity and respect that you deserve walking through the door. Period.
Ok. That’s really entirely enough bitching, ranting, and raving for the day. I really do love my life. It’s awesome. But I can’t stand assholes.
I’m fine fine fine, currently feeling a little sorry for myself since I decided to not do a trail race this weekend so I could nurse my knee back to health. I’ve been able to work out, run a little, and teach, but I feel like running on unstable surfaces when I potentially have my meniscus torn is not a great idea. I need to wait for an MRI to be 100% sure though. But I’m feeling sorry for myself, a little jealous, and as a result, have eaten like a total hog today. I deserve a spanking (as my ESL mother says from time to time).
So, I’m actually sitting outside at the local coffee shop, and just sitting here sort of fueled this post. You’ll understand why in a second.
My Pet Peeves:
Cigarette smoke. I’ve never been a smoker. My parents never smoked, so it was never really a thing. Plus I was born in the late 80s, so by that time, we were all onto the whole smoking causes cancer thing, so it’s actually pretty rare to find someone our age who smokes. So I’m sitting outside at this coffee shop, and trying to work, blog, and enjoy a cup of coffee, and there are groups of people around me smoking Parliments and Marlboros. It’s disgusting, distracting, and makes my hair smell like shit. And I can’t wash my hair all the time, so my options are to grin and bear it, or go sit and freeze inside.
People with bad grammar. They’re/their/there. You’re/your. Its/it’s (which funny enough, appeared incorrectly on this blog in a link last week). “You’re doing good”. Like please, for the love of Jesus, look at a few newspaper articles, and just absorb some of what is considered appropriate grammar. And social media makes this complete disregard for the English language really apparent.
When someone emails you….then emails or texts again 30 minutes later to ask if you’ve received their email. That’s when I start to become a little passive-aggressive, and sometimes don’t respond all together. Of COURSE I haven’t gotten your email yet because I haven’t responded. Perhaps I am away from my desk. Perhaps I have a family? Whatever it is, please show some regard for the fact that there are other people in this world than you.
Facebook’s read receipt. This thing is the worst. I actually just read an article on how to disable it, but then you can’t see when people have read your messages either, and I can’t have that. But have you ever gotten a message on Facebook that made you toss your head back and groan? And then you opened it? And you either have to live with the fact that this person knows you’re ignoring them, or you have to respond. I do not appreciate that. Not at all.