Underboob Chafing

I made a critical error in judgement during my training.

Because I was at the Hornets game this weekend, I shifted my long run to Monday during my workday, and went for it.  But because I was rushing off to work (as usual) I grabbed whatever bra I could find out of the bottom of my clean clothes, and happened to grab this bra that isn’t even manufactured anymore, a bra that may have fit me back in the summer of 2010.  So that was five years ago.

After working in running retail for some time, I have repeated to our female customers numerous times the importance of replacing your sports bras.

“Your bra should never see a birthday.”

“You should change your bra when you change your shoes.”

“Gain or lose weight?  Have a baby?  Come in for another bra fitting.”

But we never, never listen to our own advice, and I have had this bra since I was about 22 years old.  (I’m now 27, about 20-30 pounds lighter, married, and I’ve changed bra sizes and tax brackets.)

So of course, I put this old raggedy bra on, so raggedy that one of the hooks on the hook-and-eye closure has complete disappeared.

Mid-10-miler, I noticed something going on, but was a little focused on making it back in one piece – the temp was steadily dropping, and my poor hands were losing feeling, so I sort of think adrenaline took over.  It wasn’t until I took a shower that I figured out what happened.

I cranked the water and hopped in – I was meeting an old friend for dinner – and immediately starting screeching.  I investigated – I’d managed to rub the skin off the underside of both of my breasts.  I screamed throughout the rest of the shower, and located my tube of Aquaphor immediately after I dried off and slathered a layer on.

That bra is going in the trash.  Well…what if I need it later?  Can it hurt me if I shove it in the bottom of the drawer again?

Any articles of clothing you’ve let hang around for five years?  For longer?  

Death of the best bra ever :(

Y’all missed me?  I bet.  I’m the friggin brightest spot in your day, right?  So I was at the Inaugural Nike Women’s Half Marathon in DC, which I will tell you awllll about later.  Give you a little preview though, it was good!

So onto the stuff.

Juno

I pulled my laundry out, pre-race, and LOOK just LOOK, look, at what I found!  One of the hooks broke off of my Juno, the best bra ever, leaving me fairly braless for my race.  Whatever, I made it work.

The story behind the bra?  This bra really kind of changed things for me.  So mid grad school, I was hired to teach Zumba at the best place in the whole world, a little slice of heaven, Camp Pocono Trails, a weight loss camp nestled in the Poconos.  (If you ever watched “Fat Camp” on MTV, you’ve seen where we were).  I felt so weird about my body.  I wasn’t in great shape, and my boobs (sorry boys) were the bane of my existence.  My mother, whom I swore was so wrong, convinced me not to go for a reduction, citing that “You’re reading all those magazines and Rihanna looks like a little boy.  Is that who you want to look like?!?!”  A roommate of mine who was endowed similarly told me to go to Omega, and get this bra.  It was the first bra I’d ever found for girls like me, with a large chest, that would protect, compress, and not make me feel like a big fool, flopping down the street, as I struggled to get on the health train.

The bra took me through that summer.  It traveled with me to classes, certifications, licensures.  It ran down the street with me shirtless, making sure nothing fell out of place.  I sweated.  I doubted.  I accomplished.  The bra is actually a little big, beacause I did’t by a new when I lost a few pounds.  And now, I think it’s time to let the bra go.  Bras shouldn’t see a birthday, and this guy saw three.  So RIP, Juno.  I’m not ready to throw it out yet.  Should I have it framed?

 

 

Y’all know I can see the keywords you’ve used to search my blog, right?

So let’s lighten things up up a bit, shall we?  Yesterday’s topic was a little heavy, so I promised, I’d give you something to make you smile.  And boy, will you ever.

So yous know I can see, from the back end, how some of you have searched my blog right?  And don’t let me deter you!  Search away!  read this thing.  Because I’m not writing over here for my classic good looks.  Now, some of the BEST search terms I’ve been notified you guys have used?  (And I will do my best to remain true to spelling and punctuation here, as it appeared)

  • jennifer lopez with glasses”
  • “do they eat horse meat in haiti” (not to the best of my knowledge)
  • “gross things that happen to your feet after runnign”
  • kim richards puff away” (a clear reference to my favorite television empire, the real housewives)
  • does haiti get windy”
  • “why do haitian women like working out”
  • “amazing boob vixens” (I wish I was kidding here)
  • “what do breasts look like after breastfeeding” (I feel lost)
  • Pardon the language here, however, “good floppy t*ts sports bra” (Glad to know I am helping folks with with their *ahem* floppy ladies.)
  • “black lady graduating” (we are a rare breed)

And my personal favorite, remember, this is how someone searched for, and subsequently read our blog here…

  • round ass butt”

You guys keep it up. I had a field day with this one. At your expense.