Dear Famous People,

Hi, my famous friends.  Good to chat.

Can I speak with you candidly here?

I am an active consumer of what you have to offer.  Instead of being highly critical, I’ve embraced pop culture wholeheartedly, respectfully remembering that despite the fact that you put every aspect of your lives on display, that you too are a human being deserving of the benefit of the doubt as well as privacy where it’s clear that you desire it.  (I’m talking they way that the Carter-Knowles’ keep Blue under wraps and Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel keep it quiet for the most part).  I can respect that.

However, there’s some advice I feel like I need to bestow upon you, simply based on the foolish behavior I’ve seen the past few years.  And for your convenience, let’s break it down so you can reference this later, should you find yourself confused on any of the following.

via telegraph.co.uk
via telegraph.co.uk

Making blanket statements about different races.

Don’t.  Additionally, please don’t insist that you’re not racist because you once dated a person of color.  You’re making it worse.

Blackface. Brownface.

Do not.  It NEVER goes over well.

Racial Slurs. 

No. You may not.

duggar-family

Covering up sexual abuse.

Also a really terrible idea.  That is a horrible way to handle abuse within your family.  And I get it.  You’re a parent, you don’t want to throw your kids to the wolves, but there are better ways of handling it than hiding it, THEN inviting cameras into your home for the better part of a decade.  It’s your job to keep ALL of your kids safe.  And you’re not doing it when you pretend this stuff doesn’t/hasn’t happened.

via Wikipedia.org
via Wikipedia.org

Rape/Sexual Assault/Joking about Rape and Sexual Assault

Guess what.  What’s done in the dark will come to light.  We will find out what you’ve done, and drag your ass.  ADDITIONALLY, (and I’m talking DIRECTLY to you, Bill Cosby), you have some nerve touting yourself as some sort of moral lighthouse for the black community when you know good and damned well you preyed on women who were looking to get into the industry.  People trusted you, looked to you, and you shat all over that.  Rot.

Defending any of the aforementioned behavior. 

Please just don’t.  It’s okay to recognize when someone has behaved badly.  You don’t even have to comment on it at all!   But certainly, can we avoid defending deplorable behavior?

Now I recognize in today’s world, it can be really hard to avoid saying and doing offensive things simply because of the way that things have changed rapidly over the past 100 years or so.  Racism used to be ok.  Intolerance of gay people, the trans community?  Joking that something ugly or stupid was “gay” has only recently become unacceptable.  Dressing in blackface used to be a hurtful, yet accepted form of entertainment.  If you’ve never done any study on sociology, you may not realize that certain groups – poor people, overweight people, women, or gay people (this list is not exhaustive btws) face a greater likelihood of being discriminated against or may be subject to systematic oppression – policies and procedures that are either inadvertently or purposefully meant to keep them from being successful.

And that’s fine.  You’re not a social worker.  You’re not a human rights activist.  You might not have even finished high school.  And your job is not to know everything about everything.  However it IS your job to maintain some sense of decorum, class, and the respect for others that would prevent you from doing any of the aforementioned.  And if you do?  How about you own up to it, apologize, and educate yourself for your future.

Got it?

Love,

Cheri ❤

Nick Jonas

I kind of feel weird about this.

But I didn’t really get the Jonas thing growing up, which is really funny for me, because I freely admit that I have a lot of love for talented teeny boppers.

Ariana, Justin Bieber, and I even dabble in the dark art of the One Direction.

I don’t care if it’s a kid, if the kid is talented, there is a really good chance I will thoroughly enjoy his or her talent.

Which brings me to this.

So Nick Jonas made some waves when he posed for some delightfully NSFW photos. So I’m doing my usual rundown of what’s going on in pop culture, and I stumble across this treasure trove of Nick Jonas photos…

Nick JonasNow, this is one of the safer photos, but fear not, if you haven’t seen these photos, just click through, and I have conveniently linked you to those photos.  If you’re not faint of heart, scroll all the way down, and put a smile on your face.

So I was really confused because I never got down with the JoBros that much, and I can’t really remember which one dated Demi Lovato, or if I’m supposed to still be mad at him or not.

(Fear not, because it was Joe, not Nick who Demi dated, and she is apparently over it because she was touring with Nick, and I think he played drums on Made in the USA)

So, I’m going along really confused.  Nick looks awesome in these photos, he’s diabetic, and for whatever reason, that makes him all the more adorable to me, and then he goes and does this…

Now, when you heard this on the radio, you’re like, “Oh, some R&B newbie, who could it be?!”

Well, if this isn’t your scene as much there’s a gospel version that’s actually not silly…

And I just feel so confused. I have so many questions. When did Nick Jonas get cute? When did he get muscular? Why was I not alerted to this before?

At any rate, go listen to Jealous, and add it to your workout playlist.  You will thank me!

What’s the last song you added to your workout playlist?

Why do women do this?

I live for reality television, and I thank goodness that someone invented DVR, because without DVR, I would have to make some extremely difficult decisions on Sundays especially.  Real Housewives or Keeping Up with Khloe Kardashian (cause she’s the main one I’m concerned with, BYE Lamar).  But as I was watching on Sunday, I had a real, visceral reaction to something that kept coming up during Sunday’s episode.

kenya-moore-full

During the episode, Kenya Moore, a former Miss USA, repeatedly made snide comments about the weight of other cast members, and the comments that she made, specifically about Kandi being able to miss a few meals and Phaedra being 200 lbs plus, were uncalled for.  She was upset with the women for being late to a function, so their weight should have never even been an issue.

I have a big problem with, when women want to tear one another down, them automatically defaulting to calling each other fat.

Example:  You’re standing in line at a bar.  A girl skips you in line.  Your first reaction is to call her a “fat bitch”.  Why?  Why is weight the first thing we want to call out?  Why do we, as women especially, feel the need to equate the word “fat” or calling someone a “fat bitch” with being a bad person?  Especially when you’re not upset with her for being big.  You’re upset with her for skipping you in line!

I feel like I try to be a champion, especially on this blog, for folks to make change for themselves that will lead to a happier, healthier lifestyle.  However, if I can help it, I will never base my opinions on anyone on the way that they look.  If someone makes me upset, I think it’s wrong to attack anything other than what made you upset in the first place.

I’m upset with the comments Kenya made.  They only thing I should be commenting on is her comments, and her evidently very nasty streak.  Not her appearance, because to attack anything about her appearance is just counterproductive, and to me, shows me that I’m insecure if I feel the need to do so.

So here’s my challenge.  In the next week, when someone upsets you, try to think of something to say that directly applies to what they’ve done. Someone cuts you off in traffic?  They’re just a poor driver, not a “fugly slut” (thanks’Mean Girls’).  Make sense?  Try it out, and see how much better you feel.

Shape Mags Cover Girl!

Happy 26th to me! I survived the weekend, managed to steal away for a birthday run,  and I was beyond delighted to see who December’s Shape Magazine’s cover girl was. 

Presenting….

Mary J
I saw Mary J. live with my sister a few years ago, and even then, she looked fantastic – she rocked an all-white outfit, danced, and made 40 look like the new 16.

Mary J. Blige!  First off, I’m glad she seems to be rebounding well from this…

But seriously, I am so happy to see some diversity on the cover – not just racially, but she’s not a fitness model, she’s over 40, she’s black, and she takes care of her temple.  If that isn’t inspiration, I don’t know what is.  From crispy chicken to that hot bod, I will be running an extra mile and lifting a little extra weight this weight in Queen Mary’s honor.