So this one time….

This is about to be a random smattering of all this crap I randomly remember and laugh at.  Enjoy!

This one time…

// I vomited in someone’s front lawn when I was running the Greensboro Marathon.  I couldn’t help it.  But I finished!

// When I was a kid, the priest came DOWN off the pulpit, took the stairs off of the alter, and walked many rows back to scream at some kids that were being bad and making lots of noise in Mass.  One of the scariest moments of my life, because I didn’t want him to come after me.

// My dog SHAT in my car because she was really really nervous.  This actually happened yesterday, and I had to add it in here.  But she was nervous, and all of a sudden I start smelling something.  And I look over, and it’s officially my worst nightmare, come to life.

// I sprained my ankle at a party when I fell off of a stage in a puddle of what I assume was beer.  Instead of getting some ice and going to bed, I continued dancing, and my ankle was the size of Jupiter when all was said and done.

// I worked as a cocktail server in a lounge downtown in grad school. Never ever ever ever again.  If I can help it.

// I worked in Whole Foods Bakery.  Since working at Whole Foods, I’ve totally switched around the way I eat.  I used to be super calorie-centered, and that meant I ate a lot of Lean Cuisine, and frozen or pre-packaged “diet” food.  Haven’t really done it since.  It’s awesome 🙂

// I peed in my car one time on accident.  I was stuck in a lot of traffic on my way into New York, and I really had to go.  The only thing I could do was pee in a Starbucks cup.  I did the best I could.  This memory was inspired by someone else sharing with me that they had done something similar.

// I was pretending to be blind (which is highly offensive, I realize, but I was just a kid), and ran straight and directly into a tree, where I completely busted my lip.

Tell me a totally random story!




10 thoughts on “So this one time….

  1. I was once on a trip with my class. I puked in the train, I puked while we were there and I had my mom to come and pick me up. It was so embarrassing that my whole class just saw me puke and more than once. Luckily for me, I had some really great friends who took care of me and made sure I always had a puke-bag lol.

    1. Geez, you were the person they will never forget. There was a kid named Noah who barfed strawberry milk on the floor of the band room when we were in like 8th grade and I sill remember what he looks like to this day!

      1. Haha! Yeah, they will probably never forget it but thank god I don’t have to see them again lol!

  2. I once ran to church, in Hawaii, in the summer, in my Sunday best because my bike chain broke and I wasn’t trying to get in trouble for not going. The pastor spotted me on his way in and picked me up. Halfway through the service he made me stand up for the congregation and praised me for “running to get to church”. I was thoroughly embarrassed because I knew I was mostly trying not to catch a whoopin!

  3. OMG your dog pooped in the car?! Hopefully it was on the floor mat instead of the actual sat!
    One time when my mom was dropping me off at school when I was maybe 7, I didn’t want to wait for her to come to a stop, so I took off my seatbelt, opened the door, rolled out and fell all over the concrete. It took me a while to even realize my knees were bleeding – I just got up and walked into school!

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