This is about to be a random smattering of all this crap I randomly remember and laugh at.  Enjoy!

This one time…

// I vomited in someone’s front lawn when I was running the Greensboro Marathon.  I couldn’t help it.  But I finished!

// When I was a kid, the priest came DOWN off the pulpit, took the stairs off of the alter, and walked many rows back to scream at some kids that were being bad and making lots of noise in Mass.  One of the scariest moments of my life, because I didn’t want him to come after me.

// My dog SHAT in my car because she was really really nervous.  This actually happened yesterday, and I had to add it in here.  But she was nervous, and all of a sudden I start smelling something.  And I look over, and it’s officially my worst nightmare, come to life.

// I sprained my ankle at a party when I fell off of a stage in a puddle of what I assume was beer.  Instead of getting some ice and going to bed, I continued dancing, and my ankle was the size of Jupiter when all was said and done.

// I worked as a cocktail server in a lounge downtown in grad school. Never ever ever ever again.  If I can help it.

// I worked in Whole Foods Bakery.  Since working at Whole Foods, I’ve totally switched around the way I eat.  I used to be super calorie-centered, and that meant I ate a lot of Lean Cuisine, and frozen or pre-packaged “diet” food.  Haven’t really done it since.  It’s awesome 🙂

// I peed in my car one time on accident.  I was stuck in a lot of traffic on my way into New York, and I really had to go.  The only thing I could do was pee in a Starbucks cup.  I did the best I could.  This memory was inspired by someone else sharing with me that they had done something similar.

// I was pretending to be blind (which is highly offensive, I realize, but I was just a kid), and ran straight and directly into a tree, where I completely busted my lip.

Tell me a totally random story!