I taught a class yesterday morning, like I always do on Saturday mornings, and then headed into Fleet Feet Raleigh to moonlight for the weekend (which I love doing btws).

I ran after class, so I was smelling extra ripe, so I decided to jump in the shower after class to spare my coworkers the pain and suffering of having to smell me for 5 or 6 hours.

This is all to say, I wasn’t looking particularly fine on Saturday afternoon.

Midway through the afternoon, I headed to the mecca for health-conscious 20-somethings, moms with tattoos, and people who smell like patchouli.

Duh.

And I was ordering my pizza sandwich, the sandwich that I eat when I’m feeling like pizza but when I know I don’t need it, when this short sorta frumpy guy sidled up to me.

“Just cause you pretty doesn’t mean you can hold up the line.”

[Polite laughter]

“So what do you order?”

I told him with a polite smile glued to my face.

“So what are you, some type of vegan or something?”

And then his creepy friend rolled up and smiled in a creepy fashion.

“Are you a student athlete?” [He looked my body up and down.]

And the conversation went like this, me politely laughing and trying to ignore Dumb and Dumber whilst they looked my body up and down, a body that, I might add, was barely showered and not looking its best.

I can not express to you how painful it was to get looked up and down while I just tried to order my sandwich.  Seriously.  Can anyone else empathize with me? Can I shop in peace?