When is it time to dump a friend?

First off, thanks to all of you guys who left a sweet comment on yesterday’s post.  I know I’ve absolutely overloaded you with commentary about our anniversary, so I’ll spare you more mushy gushy details, and instead, regale you with the tale of the blueberry cheesecake donut I ate this morning.

I’m not a really big donut eater, because as far as fuel goes, donuts don’t really score super highly on the nutritional density scale.  But since I’m a sugar addict and Rise opened a shop in Morrisville, I drove over after a miserable class at Flywheel this morning to check it out (and to check out the Fleet Feet that Bob opened out there next door).

As a complete aside, the class was miserable due to the fact that I’m a complete idiot and I had just a smidge too much red wine.  Working out after that much red wine is not fun, and I would not recommend it.

So anyhoo, I got the blueberry cheesecake donut with a diet coke which looked a little something like this…

via Yelp
via Yelp

And enjoyed it with minimal guilt 🙂 They told me they’re opening a Rise Donuts in Cameron Village, which is literally like 7 minutes from my house. I need to make a rule for myself that before I scarf one down, I need to eek out some effort. Like if I’m gonna eat donuts and an artificially sweetened beverage for breakfast, I at least have to walk to the shop from work or something. Or not…

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When is it time to dump a friend?

This is one of those posts I started, then deleted, then started then deleted again because I wasn’t sure if it felt okay to write on.  But I think it’s honest, and it’s what I think about when I’m running and I’m interested in what you all think.

I’m not talking about a family member, I’m talking about your chosen family here, your friends.  I take my friendships seriously, and I’ve cultivated a seriously amazing group of friends (I think).

But what happens when I friend of yours becomes a liability, and you’re not in agreement with what they’ve been up to?  What happens when you tell a friend that you hate their bad behavior, but they keep at it?  What happens when instead of respecting your discomfort with the behavior, they try to shove it down your throat, and force you to accept it?  What happens when their bad behavior or bad choices could potentially, or begin to, affect your work.  What does it mean when, at the mention of the person’s name, you roll your head back and groan before you can prepare to see them or listen to what they have to say.  What exactly does it mean when you find yourself repeating the words “bullshit, bullshit, bullshit,” when you hear him or her speaking on their stupid and irresponsible behavior?

I guess I’m of two schools of thought.  I don’t need more friends in my life, so I’m pretty okay with ending a relationship if it seems dumb or counterproductive.  But I suppose I feel, or I’ve felt, on some level, that this person may have needed the friendship, would see the light eventually, and would stop dragging me into their dumb drama.

What do you guys think?  When is it time to throw in the towel on a friendship? 

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Carolina Beach

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Me and Austin.  We’re one of those couples who LOVES to do stuff together, but we’re also complete and utter workaholics.  We work tirelessly, go to the gym at some point at the end of the day, and are lucky to catch half an episode of Orange is the New Black before falling into bed, exhausted.  For weeks, we’d been talking about going somewhere, anywhere just the two of us, so that we could enjoy one another.  Finally, after a particularly rough Wednesday, I told Austin to pick between the mountains and the beach, and he picked the beach for us.  Thank…GOD.

Saturday morning, we woke up to cloudy skies here in Raleigh, but we were really determined to get the hell out of dodge and enjoy a little vacay, something we probably haven’t done silly Kelly invited us to Fripp in March of 2014.  (Shame on us, but we got married!).

Once we got to Wilmington, I was starting to get really hungry, so Austin stopped for a salad for me, and then we drove straight to the beach.  I de-robed in the car (thank you kindly to Kia for my tinted back windows), threw on a coverup, and off to the beach went.  As soon  as we sat down, we were pelted by rain, and we both looked at each other nervously, praying that the rain would stop.  And almost as soon as it started, it was gone.

DSC_0281 DSC_0280The weather was perfect, but due to some storms, the sea was really really rough, and going in much further than waist-deep was a little dicey, as the water was really pulling, and hard.  Austin and I alternated between splashing around, and reading books for hours and hours.  I forgot how much I really love the beach, and I didn’t really want to leave on Saturday when we did, but a windstorm picked up and started to make it really hard to do much of anything.  When we left, I’d wrapped a blanket around my head to protect my eyes…

DSC_0290Austin somehow managed to snap a pic as the wind was whipping around…

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I texted Alexa while we were at the beach as she’s the donut specialist, and asked here where we could find a good donut in the area where we were. She pointed me to a place that was literally 500 feet from where we were sitting. Austin and I both ate two of Britt’s Donuts, the freshest and warmest donuts I’ve ever had. Totally worth the trip if you’re in Carolina Beach.

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We ate dinner at Dockside, a seafood place that we visited on the first spring break we went to Wilmington on. I managed to get through dinner without a drink (still sober!) and then we hit a local gated community for a brisk walk before it started storming, which is pretty typical for out there.

When we got back to the hotel, we were like two kids. We explored the hotel for a little while – checked out the pool, the breakfast nook and the fitness center…
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I hopped on the treadmill for a little while in my dress and my flip flops while Austin tested the weight machines.

Sunday morning, we woke up and enjoyed a breakfast at the Best Western, and I treated myself to Frosted Flakes, forgetting that eating cereal ALWAYS makes me feel like shit. Luckily, we walked for over an hour on the beach, and that passed quickly. The best part  of  the walk was the fact that we happened upon a wedding on the beach, and lord KNOWS I love a wedding.

IMG_0335[1]We finished off the day with a trip to the Wilmington Whole Foods.  I was desperately craving a salad for the way home, so I told Austin I’d buy him lunch if he would take us to the Whole Foods.  It worked, and I got the most Caribbean/Indian salad know to mankind, packed with all sorts of curried “meats” and beans.

The weekend was so so great and relaxing, though way too short.

What did you do over the weekend?

I’m a fatty. It’s a runner thing.

Friday was like, National Donut Day or something.  Very well played, especially since Tuesday was National Runner’s Day, and everyone (rightfully so) was getting off the couch and embracing the great feeling-of-personal-hotness-increaser.  Friday rolls around, and every Krispy Kreme and Dunkin in America was offering a free donut with the purchase of a coffee.  If I was home in Raleigh, I would’ve gone to that homemade donut place, Rise, and stuffed my face, but I can make do.  I’m a versatile chick.

So anyhoo, I really tried to hold out all day.  “Cheri, you don’t need the sugar.  Your diet is awesome, no need to screw it up.  You’ve already run a couple of miles today, why taint that with that donut.”

The urge for that donut won.  So I put Krispy Kreme in my GPS, cause I’m still in Charlotte, and I don’t know where anything is anymore, I called to make sure they were still open, and the inner fatty in me forced me, forced me drive into a tropical storm to find this donut.  I approached where I thought the shop was, and my GPS let me know I’d arrived.  Buuut there was no Krispy anywhere to be found.  I drove in a circle.  I checked behind this sketchy motel.  And finally, I asked some guy who was chilling in front of the movie theatre next door where the heck the Donut Shop was.  ::Southern Accent::  “I don’t think it’s open yet!  It was over there.”  And then it hit me.  The Donut Shop had been demolished.  And my GPS had taken me to a now-non-existent shop.

I was about  25 minutes away from my parents’ home at this point.  In a storm.  So of course, I kind of remembered that there was a Dunkin close by.  And I settled for one of those chocolatey ones with the sprinkles on top.  As I swallowed it in 1.5 bites, chased by a swig of decaf, I sighed, “Yaiiis gurl!” Donut bettah werq!”  It was that good.

So I ran a few extra miles over the weekend to make up for my naughty behavior.  Hey, I’m a secret fatty.  It’s a runner thing.  Am I right?