Home happenings….

More mangos.  

Number one, I’m still extremely troubled by the fact that there’s not one consensus on the plural word for mango.  It can either be mangoes or mangos.  So, I’ve been switching it up, but it makes me really uncomfortable nonetheless.  But if you’ll remember from about a week and a half ago, I went crazy on the mango sale at Whole Foods.  Well, when I went back the other day, and they were on sale, this time two for a dollar, so ya girl went cray on them.

photo 1 (8)I went to town dehydrating mango, which can be really expensive if you buy it in the bags, and really really fully of sugar, so it’s nice to slice up your own, and know that you’re not getting any of the gross stuff that can come in the bag.

Let’s make a right turn.

Reality TV.  

Porsha
Gif Via: LittlePieceOfDribblePiss /SurvivorSucks

Did anyone catch the RHOA reunion? Yikes, yikes, yikes. Porsha absolutely lost her mind for a second.  Now I absolutely do not condone violence, and because of that, Porsha needs to leave the reunion, and whatever it is that Bravo Andy chooses to do with her is his decision, but my LORD Kenya was getting on my nerves with the scepter and that damned bullhorn.  She is so so obnoxious, and she really needs to go.  But Porsha, you know you were dead wrong for hitting her.

This app.

I know you’re probably sick and tired of hearing all about my iPhone woes, but while I was in the process of re-downloading and configuring where I like my apps to go on my little phone’s desktop, I stumbled on Sara from Loving on the Runs’  sort of mini-review of TimeHop.

photo 3Here’s what it looks like, and it’s terribly cute.

The app links up with your Twitter, your FB, and your Instagram, and pulls statuses and photos from YEARS ago, so it’s a total trip down memory lane.  Here’s what I got yesterday!
photo 2This one was following a day when I won like $1000 in a local singing competition.  It was really awesome.  I also spent most of it repairing that Taurus that I had, but whatevs, that’s the life of being an adult, right?

I skipped Body Pump this morning 😦

I’m really bummed, but my thumb kinda still hurts from when I jammed it on Sunday night.  I packed my running clothes, and as soon as my clients leave from the job today, I’m going to set out for a few minutes and get the blood pumping!

How’s your Tuesday shaping up!?

Why do women do this?

I live for reality television, and I thank goodness that someone invented DVR, because without DVR, I would have to make some extremely difficult decisions on Sundays especially.  Real Housewives or Keeping Up with Khloe Kardashian (cause she’s the main one I’m concerned with, BYE Lamar).  But as I was watching on Sunday, I had a real, visceral reaction to something that kept coming up during Sunday’s episode.

kenya-moore-full

During the episode, Kenya Moore, a former Miss USA, repeatedly made snide comments about the weight of other cast members, and the comments that she made, specifically about Kandi being able to miss a few meals and Phaedra being 200 lbs plus, were uncalled for.  She was upset with the women for being late to a function, so their weight should have never even been an issue.

I have a big problem with, when women want to tear one another down, them automatically defaulting to calling each other fat.

Example:  You’re standing in line at a bar.  A girl skips you in line.  Your first reaction is to call her a “fat bitch”.  Why?  Why is weight the first thing we want to call out?  Why do we, as women especially, feel the need to equate the word “fat” or calling someone a “fat bitch” with being a bad person?  Especially when you’re not upset with her for being big.  You’re upset with her for skipping you in line!

I feel like I try to be a champion, especially on this blog, for folks to make change for themselves that will lead to a happier, healthier lifestyle.  However, if I can help it, I will never base my opinions on anyone on the way that they look.  If someone makes me upset, I think it’s wrong to attack anything other than what made you upset in the first place.

I’m upset with the comments Kenya made.  They only thing I should be commenting on is her comments, and her evidently very nasty streak.  Not her appearance, because to attack anything about her appearance is just counterproductive, and to me, shows me that I’m insecure if I feel the need to do so.

So here’s my challenge.  In the next week, when someone upsets you, try to think of something to say that directly applies to what they’ve done. Someone cuts you off in traffic?  They’re just a poor driver, not a “fugly slut” (thanks’Mean Girls’).  Make sense?  Try it out, and see how much better you feel.

Q: How do I get a “donkey booty”?

No thanks to Phaedra Parks, of the Nobel Peace Prize Winning, “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” I’ve gotten this question more than a few times after class.

Phine Body

Now take a good look at Miz Parks.  Beautiful woman, right?  But does she seem like someone that you should be taking fashion workout advice from?  Does she strike you as someone who sat and studied for their AFAA group exercise or personal trainer cert?  Me either.

This, non-expert has now taken it upon herself to release a workout tape, touting the benefits of a few exercises to give you a “donkey booty,” or a curvaceous, voluptuous behind shape that Queen Bey and Nicki Minaj have popularized.

The real questions here is, can you spot train to firm up and “grow” one area of the human body?

The answer, in short, is, absolutely not. 

-Can you do a bunch of squats and get a Beyonce booty?

-Can you do a bunch of crunches and and get Jackie Warner abs?

-Can you do a bunch of bicep curls and get Michelle Obama arms?

No. Nope. Absolutely not.  Spot training is not a thing.  

So the trick to getting a donkey booty?  Hawt abs?  Michelle Obama arms?

Throw away those pics you cut out of your fantasy body now.  You’re not Shakira.  You’re not Bey.  You’re not Al Roker.  (Okay, sike on that last one).  But you’re you.  Chances are, you hold on to muscle and fat way differently than whomever it is that you idolize.  Me and my brother have a typical Haitian male shape.  Tall, long limbs, long fingers and toes, and a donkey booty is not in my future.  The little bum I do have is firm, but it’s small.  I’m not going to grow it.

-Eat well! Seriously.  You can work out a million hours a day.  If you’re eating Fishy McBites breakfast lunch and dinner (we’re eating those next week on the blog folks, stay tuned) you’re going to look and feel a mess.  Even if you want a treat, stick to thing you can eat with ingredients you can pronounce.  The fresher, the better, and your body will thank you for you.

-Cardio. You want a six-pack?  Killer arms?  Ridiculous quads?  Work on peeling off the layer of fat that might be covering it up.  Do a little cardio every day.  A good way to get it in?  Run!  Run to the gym.  Run to the post office.  Run to maintain your fitness.  You’ll be surprised to see what’s underneath some of that fat! (And fat isn’t a dirty word, okay?)

Strength training.  It kinda sucks.  But it also rocks to have muscles.  Even if you’re only using your own body weight, you’re doing what you need.

Do all of this, and your natural, beautiful shape will emerge.  If you’re blessed to have the donk? Donk it up. Your arms may be better than some.  But once that shape emerges, rock it and be proud of your donkey whatever!