If you’re one of those girls who’s been planning your wedding forever, cool.

And if you want to pretend like you’re not, don’t forget, I can see your Pinterest posts publicly. (But helpful hint, you can privately Pin stuff so your future boyfriends don’t get scared off.)

But I’m not one of those girls. Sure, I’d toss around ideas like, ooh maybe I’ll wear this! Maybe I’ll invite such and such. I have to make sure to learn to Dougie before I wed! You know, stuff like that. But to say I know what I’m wearing, what colors would be featured, what the decor and set-up of the room would look like, I have no idea.

And for those of you who think you know what you want. I won’t say you’ve wasted your time, but hear me out. You may want to just start fresh with ideas when your time to plan comes cause….

I went wedding dress shopping yesterday. Oh yes, this part, I had in my head. I saw myself, a tall, leggy model like the ones in the magazine. Flowy. So chic. Yet so relaxed. So innovative! No one had ever seen a dress like mine before. So I took my bestie, Michael, and off we went.

I put on at first this lace number that was supposed to look something like this.


And when I put it on, every person in the room gasped in horror. Michael. The woman helping me. And the two women that were there for the moral support of their bride-friend. It was awful once I got it on my body. It didn’t move. I had no hips. They even tried to sash it to make it manageable. And no dice.

Maybe I’ll look good in a gauzy destination gown, I thought to myself. So I popped a champagne-colored, chiffon number on.

Less horrid, but still pretty bad.

“Do you have anything mermaid-y?”

Again, I winced. The dress made me look like I was going for my 5th wedding, and like I was trying to recapture my youth.

After a few of these, I found one. Obviously, I’m not going to tell you what it was, because you’re just going to have to wait, like everyone else, but here’s my advice, as an almost-married lady. Try it on. Go visit these places. What you have going on in your head? Not necessarily what the deal will be in real life. Good luck, brides šŸ™‚

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