Engagement anxiety – a wedding post.

I was, and am thrilled to be getting married.  Absolutely thrilled.  I’m still in disbelief that someone wants to marry me, but that’s another discussion for another day.

We finally put a deposit down on the venue, and I feel like such a huge weight is lifted.   I literally, to the chagrin of me darling neighbors, did a Rockettes-styled dance when I hung up the phone with Jeremy, my point person at the venue.  The search for a venue was a frustrating one – especially because there’s no real indication of whats in your price range and what’s not until you visit a place.  And then they tell you it’s a $20,000 food minimum.  And then you die kinda.

Meadow
Here it is, the beautiful place where we will be getting married August 23, 2014.

Kudos to all you brides that make it look like you spent a year to a year-and-a-half enjoying making wedding plans over a bubbly pedicure with little flutes of champagne, and your wedding binder in your lap, but whatever.  I am SO not that bride.  Well, not yet.

There’s a little bit of anxiety that comes with being engaged, anxiety about the fact that you’re in this state of limbo, not a girlfriend, but not yet a wife, and you’re expected to run around with clouds around your feet, singing songs, and spreading your arms wide when you hit the high notes.  And any shred of anxiety is supposed to mean that you’re making a huge mistake, right?  Wrong.

Yes, I’m wearing a beautiful diamond ring, and I literally cannot wait to walk down the aisle and become an official family with Austin.  But the diamond doesn’t transcend all, and daily things and logistics about the wedding will create anxiety.  In the span of time since I’ve gotten engaged, I lost my grandmother, moved apartments suddenly, and started a new job, so arrest me for being a little off-kilter.

Additionally, the pressure from other people adds to this.  People making demands as far as their invites, worries about money, logistics of getting 150 folks into your city and housed, fed, and drinked for a night, complaints from family members about your choice of dress, hairstyle, the venue – these all will add to some of your anxiety.

So brides-to-belisten here.  If you’re feeling a little overwhelmed, and you’re worried that your worry is a sure sign that you’re a freak, destined to be alone forever, chill out.  You’re not the only one and your worry is normal.  Relax and remember that in a few months, you’re about to throw the party of the dang century.  Cheers!

Wedding Venue Teaser!

I think I may have found a wedding venue.  But sorry guys, no pictures in this post, at least not until my fiancé sees it.  But let me bring you on this journey I’ve been on for the last few weeks or so.

Austin and I got engaged in July, and very soon after, my grandmother died, and my mom was very ill, so we really just not have begun some of the planning we need to do before we get married next year.

So you do the thing.  You go to all the venues you’ve seen folks getting married at, you take suggestions, and you visit all the venues on your list.

The photos.

The pictures of the place on the website will almost always be deceiving.  Beautifully lit, a white couple dancing happily while all of their white friends dance about.  And then you pull up to the venue.  “This….is it? Are you sure we’re at the right place hon?”

The visits. 

We visited a few venues.  There was the venue where the chain-smoking coordinator pranced out of the women’s bathroom with still-wet hands.  Declining to shake my hand, she gestured grandly to the room, which looked like a high-school auditorium, and she referred to it as having a “country-club feel”.  There was a stain on the carpet.  A large, mysterious stain.  This perhaps, was a country club in hell.  But not for our wedding.

I spoke with a woman who was nonchalant about the $20,000 food minimum we’d have to hit on a Saturday evening.

visited a restaurant where I’m pretty sure the guy I was speaking with was high as a kite.  Didn’t do a whole lot to make my comfortable about our big day.

And I visited a place where the woman, a “close-talker” breathed her cigarette-breath in my face the entire meeting.  Would should be breathing on my guests in this same manner?

Last night. 

I pulled up to the venue.  The venue actually looked like the pictures.  (Point)  This was new!  I toured the facility, where I was greeted by a jolly guy with a southern accent.  (Another point)  He was playing John Legend’s new album over the speakers.  (Yet another point) And I began to visualize myself getting married there.  Bingo.  Just to make sure, I drove to Elon and went for a run around campus to make sure I still loved it, to mull it over.  I still did.  And Elon’s campus was gorgeous, even despite the fact that it was dark.  Next step?  Get approval from the fiancé, and make this thing official! Pics to come!