life

I removed my work email off my phone, and no one died.

| cheriarmour

Months and months ago, a friend asked me, over coffee, what my biggest struggle was.

I told him, quite simply “balance“.

It’s a well-know fact that within my family, we don’t really do anything halfway.  I don’t just exercise a bit, I do it for a living.  I don’t just sort of like Gavin DeGraw, I’ve seen him on like 5 separate occasions.  It’s kind of why I don’t do drugs.  Because I’m not a casual do-er of anything.  It’s really all or nothing.  Which is why balance can be an issue in my life.

I want to do it all, run it all, work all the time, and still fit in time to teach, work out, and play with my friends.  But that becomes a little challenging when you realize that there are only 24 hours in a day, and that sleeping is a must.  And not getting my work done isn’t really an option either.

I started to notice a month or two back that I would noticeably become agitated  and anxious around 7 a.m. when some of my instructors would wake up and start sending messages.  Typically, the messages themselves were perfectly fine, but I would feel the need to immediately respond to them before my feet even hit the floor to get ready for work, and there’s something a little weird about that.

So last week, my 4s started to grind to a halt, and I swapped my phone over to another, functioning 4s so that I could squeeze a little time out before I have to take the plunge and buy a new phone.  Because of this, I never got around to the convoluted system there is to set your work email up on your phone, so in essence the only time I’ve had access to my work email is when I’m on my work laptop.

Which has been, in a word, glorious. 

At first I was nervous.  Nervous that I would miss something important, or that someone would be upset with me for my less-than-immediate response to their questions.  But that has not happened.  I have responded to emails once I’ve opened my laptop in the order that I’ve received them.  Nothing will fall to the wayside.  No one has been upset.  And it has been such a blessing for balance and such a blessing for my sense of well-being.

How have you worked to bring more balance to your life?  

Pet Peeves

| cheriarmour

Hi!

How are you guys doing today?

I’m fine fine fine, currently feeling a little sorry for myself since I decided to not do a trail race this weekend so I could nurse my knee back to health.  I’ve been able to work out, run a little, and teach, but I feel like running on unstable surfaces when I potentially have my meniscus torn is not a great idea.  I need to wait for an MRI to be 100% sure though.  But I’m feeling sorry for myself, a little jealous, and as a result, have eaten like a total hog today.  I deserve a spanking (as my ESL mother says from time to time).

So, I’m actually sitting outside at the local coffee shop, and just sitting here sort of fueled this post.  You’ll understand why in a second.

Cup A Joe

My Pet Peeves:

  • Cigarette smoke.  I’ve never been a smoker.  My parents never smoked, so it was never really a thing.  Plus I was born in the late 80s, so by that time, we were all onto the whole smoking causes cancer thing, so it’s actually pretty rare to find someone our age who smokes.  So I’m sitting outside at this coffee shop, and trying to work, blog, and enjoy a cup of coffee, and there are groups of people around me smoking Parliments and Marlboros.  It’s disgusting, distracting, and makes my hair smell like shit.  And I can’t wash my hair all the time, so my options are to grin and bear it, or go sit and freeze inside.
  • People with bad grammar.  They’re/their/there.  You’re/your.  Its/it’s (which funny enough, appeared incorrectly on this blog in a link last week).  “You’re doing good”.  Like please, for the love of Jesus, look at a few newspaper articles, and just absorb some of what is considered appropriate grammar.  And social media makes this complete disregard for the English language really apparent.
  • When someone emails you….then emails or texts again 30 minutes later to ask if you’ve received their email.  That’s when I start to become a little passive-aggressive, and sometimes don’t respond all together.  Of COURSE I haven’t gotten your email yet because I haven’t responded.  Perhaps I am away from my desk.  Perhaps I have a family?  Whatever it is, please show some regard for the fact that there are other people in this world than you.
  • Facebook’s read receipt.  This thing is the worst.  I actually just read an article on how to disable it, but then you can’t see when people have read your messages either, and I can’t have that.  But have you ever gotten a message on Facebook that made you toss your head back and groan?  And then you opened it?  And you either have to live with the fact that this person knows you’re ignoring them, or you have to respond.  I do not appreciate that.  Not at all.

All that said…

What are your pet peeves?

Lies we’ve all been told.

| cheriarmour

I stole this from Becca from Becoming Adorrable – I love love reading what she’s up to, and about her and husband’s adventures in Atlanta.  She posted on this the other day, and it got me thinking about lies we’ve all been told.

You have sex, and you will get pregnant.  

Mean Girls QuotesThis is one lie that has become more and more clear to me since I’ve gotten to that age where friends of mine are trying to get pregnant on purpose.  Call it a product of having my sexual education done in the south, however, my understanding was that if you have sex at any point, that you WOULD get pregnant, no questions asked.  Now imagine my surprise, that as a 27-year-old married woman, that it doesn’t always work that way.  Sometimes, when people talk about “trying,” they’re healthy, viable, and young.  They have sex on certain days, and not on others, and it still doesn’t work.

Taking on student loans is fine – you’ll get a job and be able to pay it back within like two years. 

Yeah.  Um.  I wish someone had been a little more transparent with me about this one.  The honest truth (listen up if you’re just now going to college) is that you can be like me, and you can be “underemployed” for any number of years.  You know what that means?  That means, you might be really really educated, like say, Duke educated, and that you might still pay some dues at a grocery store or in food service, trying to make ends meet while you search for something you’re really qualified for.  That said, take out as LITTLE student loan money has you can get away with.   If you can get through all four years with no debt?  You’re golden, babe!

To get the job you want, submit a resumé and a cover letter to that online form thingie, and you’ll get a call back for an interview within no time. 

The above statement is BULLSHIT.  Absolutely bullshit.  If you graduated this past weekend, hear me now when I tell you it’s bullshit.  Here’s how you get that job that you want/are qualified for.  Figure out who it is you know within that organization, stalk them to all ends of the earth, and ask them, straight up, to hook you up with an interview.  Your resumé is something that should be updated and current, this is true.  Yes, you should have a cover letter, like, around.  But hear me loud and absolutely clear when I say that networking, networking, networking, is where your head needs to be in the months leading up to you getting a job interview.  Go to dinners, luncheons, make sure you’re dressed to the nines.  At drinking things, just nurse one, take cards, and hand yours out.  Follow up the next day.  Schedule lunches and coffees with whomever it is. And never, ever feel weird about doing this.

Marriage and kids. 

I love being married.  Best thing I have ever done in my life.  I love kids.  And I think I would love to have some little boys of my own in puffy vests and in plaid shirts with little baseball hats.  But I grow tired of these folks who, for one, post things nonstop about their “perfect” lives on social media, and two, claim to never have a bad day in the world.  I had an awesome conversation with a family member (with an equally adorable baby for me to hold) who was refreshingly honest about marriage and motherhood.  She was open about her son’s reflux, about wanting to get out of the house once in a while, and about her marriage.  I loved it.  Why are we ALL not open?  All that said…

QOTD

What’s one lie you feel you’ve been told ALL your life!

The worst April Fool’s Joke Ever

| cheriarmour

First, I have to address the fact that I truly feel that Jesus is smiling down on me with all of the pop culture goodness that has been bestowed upon me this week.  All culminating to the Roast of Justin Bieber that popped off on Monday night.

Now I’m going to be the first to admit, that I love me some Bieber, and saw him in concert from the nosebleeds with a friend, also in her 20s at the time.  The concert was awesome, and the best part was the entire thing.

Now, I had some apprehensions about this roast.  I mean it seems like a pretty transparent attempt to take a beating for acting like an ass these past few years (all of which I heartily enjoyed, including his deposition tapes, where he wore a curtain-inspired jacket and mouthed off to officers of the law.  Now, I’m not big on spanking, but that child needs a hearty ass whopping.  I’ll give it to him 😉

Now the finest part, the part that renews my faith in the ridiculousness of humanity, was when Bieber-dummy was lowered in a harness while a Gospel Choir sang him in.  About 3/4ths of the way down, Bieber plummeted to the ground.  I shouldn’t have been laughing, but I was.

via mtv.tumblr.com
via mtv.tumblr.com

Moving right along…

So yesterday was April Fool’s. I’m really not big on pranks. They make me upset. Except, of course, when Justin Timberlake was told that the IRS would be seizing his possessions, and he cried after the officer stepped on his acoustic guitar. Other than that, I really don’t appreciate pranks, because I don’t like being scared or thinking that I’ve ruined someone’s life. Call me old-fashioned.

So in 2005, my parents were driving me back from Pittsburgh, as I was slated to attend the University of Pittsburgh.  Spoiler Alert:  I ended up at Elon, and was beyond pleased with my decision.  I would probably be very chilly had I gone to Pittsburgh.  But driving back from Pitt, I got a call on my flip phone from my sister.

“Hey…your job called. ”

I was working for Atlanta Bread Company, my first job, and was so proud of myself.  I worked hard, and at the end of the evenings, when the night was over, my manager would allow us to take treats from the bakery home in a brown paper bag, which me and my mom loved, because we have a wicked sweet tooth.

“They said you’re fired.  Something about you taking something?  Were you allowed to take the bakery?”

I was freaking out.  I kept screeching, “What?!”  My mom was flipping out and all of a sudden, after I’d been allowed to freak out for a minute or two…

“April Fools!”

I looked at the phone in disbelief when my mom snatched it from me.

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO SOMEONE WORKING THEIR FIRST JOB?  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

And that, my friends, is the worst prank every played on me.

Any of you had jokes played?

V-Day Weekend

| cheriarmour

I have an admission to make.

After last week, I was completely overwhelmed, and I was a mess to deal with this weekend.  Between a really big week at work, trying to deal with my car issues, I’m sort of dealing with these feelings that I absolutely suck at life.  As I sit here, I’m looking around at my couch covered in pet hair, and dealing with the fact that the beagle managed to act up enough so that the woman who adopted her is bringing her back (not kidding) I’m wondering how people with kids do this, and have cleaner houses and seem to have their shit together better than I do.

But I digress.

Here are a few snaps from the weekend.

Friday, I hosted a Zumba/Dance Fitness Party at my Y, and we actually had a really really good turnout, which had me nervous all week.  It can be really really tricky to get folks to commit to anything on a Friday night, and I was terrified that no one would show, and I would look like a butt in front of my bosses.

Three hours before the party, I was testing the playlist out on my iPod, when every single solitary song on my device disappeared, and I watched my life flash before my eyes.

“I’m the boss. I’m in charge of this party.  And I just screwed up all the music.”

I raced home, managed to update the software on my husband’s laptop, and load the entire playlist onto Austin’s iPad, literally with 15 minutes to spare before the party.  The party went off without a hitch, our attendance was huge, and I was so proud of my team!

Zumba Party
Zumba Party

Immediately following, I raced-raced to Ruthschris to meet my husband, and I ate everything in sight, including this little cheesecake for dessert that I told the server I would only take a bite of.  Then I ate the whole thing.

Then this girl…

Alyssa Edwards via imgkid.com
Alyssa Edwards via imgkid.com

I met my girls, and hit Legends in Raleigh to see Alyssa Edwards, a contestant/favorite from RuPaul’s Drag Race from a few seasons ago. When I say that she was fantastic, I mean FANTASTIC. Her makeup was on point, her wig was on point, and she had a better body than most people.  She actually was inspiring – I think a lot of times we see drag queens as funny, but in reality, it really can be an art, and what she did was an art.

Saturday, I hit class early, and taught an 8:30 toning, and ran over to our branch to teach an 11:15 Zumba to a packed house.

Sunday, I went to work, caught up on some work, and then hit drag brunch, benefiting a foundation here that hat encourages and promotes the development of services for persons living with AIDS and/or HIV infection. I got brunch and got champagne, AND managed to benefit a sweet nonprofit?  I’ll take it.

This week, we are gearing up for some sort of winter event here in Raleigh and my goal, my only goal, is to keep my head on straight despite life’s…things.

How was your weekend?  What did you do?

What are your goals this week?

Well hello there!

| cheriarmour

I took a few days off from blogging because of how crazy things have been over the past few days.  But don’t worry, I will fill you in on everything going in.

For one, remember how I said I would never drive a minivan? This is why you never say never.  After I managed to total my car (the Lancer is a total loss) I’ve had a lot of trouble with Metlife getting any answers on my car.  Which is a completely separate issue, which we can talk about later.  But the car that I’m being given in the meantime is a minivan.  And everything about it screams “mom”.  It’s a Maroon mom color.  There are like 6 seats in the back.  But the one really nice thing about the minivan is that it’s got mom features – it’s got the hands-free bluetooth thing, which is nice because I can work in the short amount of time that I spend in my car.

Second, I’m having huge issues with trying to get the issues with my car resolved, which I may have to address in a separate post.  But suffice it to say that I’m not satisfied in any way with my experience with the insurance company.  My understanding is that provided that you pay your insurance, that your insurance company is supposed to have your back, no?  That has not at all been my experience, and I’m getting extremely frustrated – I spent hours on the phone yesterday to try and get some of this resolved.  How do people do this?

My husband is back from China!  I am really excited, and he definitely had some stories for me. He talked about the flight (17 hours from Dallas), the air (very smoggy), and showed me pictures of the food, which looks good on him.  He said that the food was not super calorie-dense, and it showed – not that he needed to lose an ounce, but without the chance to work out while he was in China, he manged to slim down somewhat – very interesting!

What has your last week been like?  

14 Big Moments of 2014

| cheriarmour

Um.  So 2014 is over?  When did that happen?

So it was a big year, for things both good and bad.  And here, in no particular order, are some of the biggies from 2014.

14.  Coco.  Coco the poodle came to us from a friend of a friend.  She’s an older dog, so she was probably not going to get adopted, so without much thought, we took her in.  It ended up being a pretty sweet deal, because she’s a sweetheart, and a joy to have.  She came to the beach with us, and visited with my mom when she was sick.

13.  We went to Fripp! This was one of my favorite memories. My friend, Kelly, invited me and Austin for a weekend. We drove down to SC, and had a blast of a weekend. One of my favorite memories of the year!

IMG_0913

12.  Snow, snow, snow!  Remember snowpocalyspe that rendered Atlanta crippled?  About two weeks after, Raleigh got a similar storm that left Austin stranded for hours after work.  Melanie, another friend got into a little accident.  And my current boss’s boss had to run home in the storm.

11.  I made this, than caught a stomach flu.  I’m pretty much a straight-up vegetarian, not a pescatarian now.

photo (2)

10.  I modeled a little bit here and there.  I did some shoots for Headbands of Hope, did two shows for a local boutique.  I’m hoping to do some more jobs here and there to help pay off my student loans!

9.  We bought a house!  Which is kind of a relief, we had a few weird experiences renting, the latest of which was when a man tried to break into the girl’s apartment downstairs in the middle of the night to do her some sort of harm for not calling him back.  

Us the first Saturday when we came to scrub the house.
Us the first Saturday when we came to scrub the house.

8.  A close friend lost her mother to cancer.  The experience was jarring, to say the least, and a really painful reminder that our parents are getting older.

7.   We acquired a foster beagle.  After Mel’s mother passed, an older female beagle was left behind.  We are hanging onto her until she finds a new furever home.  If you’re interested….

Beagle

6.  I saw Stevie Wonder live!   And in good seats!  Stevie Wonder announced tour dates in September of 2014, and I went on the hunt to find affordable tickets, which was no easy feat.  Seriously, the scalpers had bought up all the tickets, and I was lucky enough to find tickets that only cost me about $300.  We had seats on the floor, and I feel like I can officially cross seeing one of the greats off my bucket list!

5.  I ran….far…in Vegas!  My first trip to Vegas was not some drunken slob-fest – rather – I ran an Ultra relay in Vegas with Bondi Band.

4.  I literally got my dream job.  I may have told this story here before, but if at first you don’t succeed, try, try, mother effin’ try again.  I’d had my eye on this job as a Group Fitness Director for over 3 years.  The first time I interviewed for the job, I made it through a few rounds, and didn’t get the job.  I was devastated (and remember, this is all taking place back in 2012 when my ego was already wounded from learning that jobs aren’t super plentiful), and I stayed in bed for days.  A few years, and some more professional development later, the job was open, and it sort of fell into my lap.  It worked out probably about a month before we got married.

3.  My sister got engaged, then married!  Deb and Luigi had been dating sort of on and off, and they decided, in the late spring, that they were going to make it official.  They got engaged, then married pretty quickly in South Carolina.  They celebrated with a reception just a few weeks ago.

DSC_0742

2.  My best friend suddenly lost his brother.  Probably one of the worst phone calls I’ve ever gotten in my life was this phone call.  Austin and I made the quick decision that the weekend of the funeral, we would drive to Philly and back to pay our respect’s to Michael’s brother.  I’ve never seen my best friend in pain like that, so it was hard, and I’m trying with everything in me to support him as best as I can through this really really trying time.

1.  We got married on August 23, 2014.  It was the most incredible day ever, and when I woke up on August 24th, I wanted to keep my eyes closed and bottle the feelings that the wedding gave me.  It was elation, happiness, and the joy of seeing old friends meet new friends all wrapped into one.  If you could shoot that feeling directly into an IV and take it, I totally would 🙂

Exit

Weekend updates.

| cheriarmour

While you’re reading this, I’m actually sleeping in my little brother’s room at my parent’s party pad in downtown Charlotte.  I’m in town here only for a day or so, but that’s totally cool, because it gives me a new terrain to run on, and keeps things interesting.

So a few interesting points about this weekend.

  1. My Fitbit is turning me into a lunatic. I don’t think people really believe me when I tell them that my competitive nature has taken me to really really ugly places.  But to put things into perspective, my first summer working at Camp Pocono Trails, I was playing Gaga with the kids, and they would make fun of me for how into the game I would get.  At the top of my lungs, I’d scream that I would be the “LAST. WOMAN. STANDING,” as I picked kids off with the dodgeball, one by one.  They thought it was a game.  I knew better.  Well now that I can see how many steps I’ve taken, a friend of mine and three of her coworkers challenged me to a “Daily Showdown,” so I proceeded to walk to the bar, walk home from the bar, and continue walking well past 11pm.  I came in second, and I can’t really talk about my defeat, that’s how painful it was. Fitbit Competition
  2. We had a shed put in the backyard on Saturday.  So I wake up on Saturday to check out the shed, and it actually was pretty cute!  Then I look over at one of the guys installing it, and he’s wearing swim trunks and no shirt.  No judgement here, I’m just truly curious about his choice in attire.  Shed Install
  3. And finally?  I’m feeling really ready to sign up for something serious.  I got over my running hump, and running is starting to feel like a natural state of being for me again.  I’m playing with a few options – I ran Shamrock a few years ago for my first full, and I’d be interested to try it again to see if I’ve made any improvements.  I also have an entry for Rock ‘n’ Roll Raleigh set up, but since they haven’t released the full course, I’m not sure if I’m ready to commit without knowing the course.  Raleigh is terribly hilly, and that race can either be really really awesome, or kinda miserable.  I also am playing with the idea of like a 50k or so, to delve into the world of Ultra Marathons, but don’t tell my husband.  We watched a documentary about Dean Karnazes, and for some reason, I still have the itch to see what I can do.  I have zero interest in being a regular 90+ mile a week girl, especially with all of the teaching I do, but once or twice?  I think it would be worth it!

What did you do this weekend?

Living life to the fullest.

| cheriarmour

Sometimes, I complain about really stupid things.  Sometimes I am a grump.  Sometimes I take for granted the fact that I have a roof over my head, a warm bed, and more than enough food and resources to make things work.

And then the universe will yank you right back to reality to remind you that all the stupid, petty, ridiculous crap you’ve wasted energy on just isn’t worth it.

There is a tiny adorable elderly woman who has taken my Zumba® classes for over two years.  Two-and-a-half years ago, when she was taking my class, I thought she might be too frail, and am ashamed to say, that sometimes I doubted that she could do it.  But she always powered through, and at the same time, would let me know what she thought about everything.  When I got this position, she could not be happier, and she let me know.  A few weeks ago, when I was subbing a Toning class, she literally squealed when I walked down the hallway to see her.  I would hug her.  And over the last few months and weeks, she’s gotten smaller and smaller, colder and colder, and we realized that something was the matter.

A few months ago, after a bout with bronchitis, my teeny friend went to the doctor and found that she did not have bronchitis, but lung cancer, and that she would be leaving us within months.  Yesterday, when she woke up, she could not breathe well, and we in the community, have been keeping each other on a text thread, hoping that she pulls through, but realizing, that at 86, this may be the end of the road for her.

Simultaneously, one of my best friends suffered a tremendous loss this week.

I hate it, that anyone ever has to suffer, or that me, being a selfish human being, sometimes waits for these moments to remember how grateful I should be for the blessings I have.  But the sadness for my dear friends has reminded me that we, that I, have so much to be grateful for.

This Friday, here’s to being grateful for how beautiful and fragile life can be. 

What are you grateful for today?