Lies we’ve all been told.

I stole this from Becca from Becoming Adorrable – I love love reading what she’s up to, and about her and husband’s adventures in Atlanta.  She posted on this the other day, and it got me thinking about lies we’ve all been told.

You have sex, and you will get pregnant.  

Mean Girls QuotesThis is one lie that has become more and more clear to me since I’ve gotten to that age where friends of mine are trying to get pregnant on purpose.  Call it a product of having my sexual education done in the south, however, my understanding was that if you have sex at any point, that you WOULD get pregnant, no questions asked.  Now imagine my surprise, that as a 27-year-old married woman, that it doesn’t always work that way.  Sometimes, when people talk about “trying,” they’re healthy, viable, and young.  They have sex on certain days, and not on others, and it still doesn’t work.

Taking on student loans is fine – you’ll get a job and be able to pay it back within like two years. 

Yeah.  Um.  I wish someone had been a little more transparent with me about this one.  The honest truth (listen up if you’re just now going to college) is that you can be like me, and you can be “underemployed” for any number of years.  You know what that means?  That means, you might be really really educated, like say, Duke educated, and that you might still pay some dues at a grocery store or in food service, trying to make ends meet while you search for something you’re really qualified for.  That said, take out as LITTLE student loan money has you can get away with.   If you can get through all four years with no debt?  You’re golden, babe!

To get the job you want, submit a resumé and a cover letter to that online form thingie, and you’ll get a call back for an interview within no time. 

The above statement is BULLSHIT.  Absolutely bullshit.  If you graduated this past weekend, hear me now when I tell you it’s bullshit.  Here’s how you get that job that you want/are qualified for.  Figure out who it is you know within that organization, stalk them to all ends of the earth, and ask them, straight up, to hook you up with an interview.  Your resumé is something that should be updated and current, this is true.  Yes, you should have a cover letter, like, around.  But hear me loud and absolutely clear when I say that networking, networking, networking, is where your head needs to be in the months leading up to you getting a job interview.  Go to dinners, luncheons, make sure you’re dressed to the nines.  At drinking things, just nurse one, take cards, and hand yours out.  Follow up the next day.  Schedule lunches and coffees with whomever it is. And never, ever feel weird about doing this.

Marriage and kids. 

I love being married.  Best thing I have ever done in my life.  I love kids.  And I think I would love to have some little boys of my own in puffy vests and in plaid shirts with little baseball hats.  But I grow tired of these folks who, for one, post things nonstop about their “perfect” lives on social media, and two, claim to never have a bad day in the world.  I had an awesome conversation with a family member (with an equally adorable baby for me to hold) who was refreshingly honest about marriage and motherhood.  She was open about her son’s reflux, about wanting to get out of the house once in a while, and about her marriage.  I loved it.  Why are we ALL not open?  All that said…

QOTD

What’s one lie you feel you’ve been told ALL your life!

Virtual Coffee Date

photo 1I think I stole this idea from Skinny Runner, but we’re on a coffee date right now, on this beautiful Sunday morning, so let’s chat about all of the things, okay?

+Austin and I went to a really cool thing yesterday, which I will be blogging about all tomorrow, and we’re both very very nervous because we’re not nervous about our wedding.  Seriously, a bride told use that she’s started drinking because she’s so nervous about her November wedding, and now I’m scared that I’m not nervous enough.

+My brother is amazing.  He got into NC State yesterday, and I’m kinda hoping he goes there so we  an hang out all the time.

+Speaking of my brother.  He’s an amazing rapper, and here’s his latest.


Vote for it, my brother is trying to win $2500 with some friends, and I really love the song/video, and I’d LOVE it if you could help him out.

+We went to Chili’s yesterday, which we don’t normally do, but I was able to find a really good salad, the Caribbean Salad with shrimp, and dressing on the side.  Really really really good, and not all that bad for you 🙂

What would you tell me if you were on this coffee date with me?

Why we Work

Time for a mushy-gushy pre-Valentine’s Day post.

264558_696428549623_6702677_nI’m marrying this guy in 190 days.  And I couldn’t be more thrilled about it.

I could tell something was different about him, because from the beginning of our relationship, I really really protected it.  I didn’t talk about it a lot to others and I didn’t feel the need to gush to cover up some sort of shortcoming he might have had.  Trust me, I’ve been there.  He took me on real dates, not just to Applebees.  He insisted he pay, and I always felt safe with him.  And now, three, almost four years later, here’s why we work.  

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  • We’re really different.  But our insides match. We’re obviously interracial.  I am all over the place, wildly creative, and he is analytical, and he thinks things through before he does them.  I decide to do things, and do them.  But inside, there are a few things that are really important to us.  Health/wellness.  Animals.  And treating others the way they deserve to be treated.  These are our cardinal rules.262787_1937735048582_6179921_n
  • When we fight, we fight fair.  You’re a rotten dirty liar if you want to claim that you have a relationship with someone and that you never fight.  And we do.  But when we do, we fight fair.  We don’t hit or scream or call names.  And if we slip and do one of these, we put it in reverse, and asses where we need to apologize and do better next time.  Besides the hitting, we’re not animals.  We don’t do that.
  • He supports me.   I say I want to run a marathon, and he watches me cross the finish line.  When I started this blog, he was all about it.  When we first started dating, and I went to audition for X-Factor, he gave me his iPod FM transmitter thing for my car, and kissed me goodbye.  I made it that year, and part of it was the support. Similarly, whatever he needs or wants to do?  I want to give it to him.  If he wants to start a business?  A new website?  Wants to take apart the washing machine?  I don’t get it, but I will be behind him.
  • I feel safe with him.  When I used to run into trouble, I would call my Dad.  Now I’m a grown-up, and getting married, and I feel 100% cool calling him for help.  He can change a tire, one drove to DC to pick me up when I was stranded in the middle of the night, and dusted the snow off my car and my steps today.  It means so much.

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  • We laugh together.  A bunch.  I could go on for days about our inside jokes but that’s why they inside, playa!
  • He keeps me grounded.  I am a weirdo.  A beautiful, tall weirdo.  And sometimes, my ideas get a little crazy.  I adopted a dog out of the blue a few weeks ago.  I still did it, but he asked me all the important questions.  And I keep him fun!  Life wouldn’t be any fun without my randomness.
  • He went out in a snowstorm to get me coffee today.  Can I please tell you that I didn’t ask him to do this, it was a surprise.  But it was still a nice surprise and it made me feel like he pays attention to what I like 🙂 .

This list is by no means exhaustive, but it’s what comes to my mind when I look at our differences and still can see why we work.  Big ups to Life of Bon for the sweet idea on the day before V-Day!

whywework

 

And if you love it, grab that image ^^ and link up!  Why do you and your significant other work?  

I was riding into work yesterday morning…

…And I have a pretty short commute to work, lucky for me, it’s only about 10 minutes long.  And I have a confession.

I hate, hate, hate morning radio.

It rarely appeals to anyone over the age of 12 because that’s exactly the kind of “humor” it plays to.  Infantile, juvenile, and often offensive, just like preteens tend to be.

Well, here in the great capital city of Raleigh, there’s this show called “Bob & the Showgram”.  And I won’t be a jerk, it’s not all bad.  From what I understand, Bob, the host of the show, had a brain tumor, and now he raises money for pediatric brain tumors.  And that’s awesome.  It is, however, one of the most offensive dark spots in an otherwise very progressive city.

At last year’s Christmas parade, someone at the station had the bright idea to suspend  “Tyrone the Black Christmas Fairy” from the bed of a pickup truck, which drew some really negative attention – even the Mayor had something to say about it.

Tyrone

There were even rumors that someone at the station was fired for it.  What escapes me is how suspending a black person from anything is a good idea, especially given the history of our country, but that’s another essay, for another blog, for another day.

So on my ride in, I happened to flip to that offending station, and around 9:00 am, Bob started making offensive comments about gay men.  Some of them are a little too much to repeat here, but it wrapped up with him comparing gay men to pedophiles.

I was floored. Is this 1950?  Firstly, sexuality isn’t necessarily something that needs to be discussed in the joking context of a morning program.  Secondly. comparing someones sexuality to deviant behavior that is damaging not only physically, but mentally, and spiritually to a child is beyond small-minded, it’s just wrong.

So I went to work, and in the course of the day, I emailed the program director at the station, Zac, and expressed my displeasure at the whole situation.  I got a response!

“Cheri,

Thanks for your email.

We met with the Morning Show after they got off the air.

We discussed the topic and how it could be offensive.

I really appreciate your feedback,

Zac”

I know it’s not much, but I’ll be damned, I made a teensy, tiny, itty-bitty little splash in the inbox of the director.  I know Bob has probably learned nothing, and will continue ranting on whatever, but I loved the feeling of making a little difference.

One of the really, really annoying pitfalls of being born with this adorable name…

Is that no one can seem to spell it correctly.

There comes a point during every phone call with a doctor’s office, the student loan people, or the people at the dealership who do my oil changes when they ask me how to spell my name.

Me: Okay, it’s Cheri. C-H-E-R-I.  And that last name, it’s Armour.  Like the hotdog. A-R-M-O-U-R.

Man/Woman on Phone: Okay, so that was Terry, and you said A-M-O-R right?!

Usually at this point, I drop the phone in frustration and regain my composure just in time it calmly repeat it to the person on the other end once more. Sometimes twice.  And you can hear the admin eating his or her lunch in your ear.  Ugh.

This is how my general practitioner has taken to spelling my name.  Time to find a new GP...
This is how my general practitioner has taken to spelling my name. Time to find a new GP…

So I’ve been trying to do like one-ish wedding-related thing a week, so that I’m not overwhelmed at showtime like I’ve seen a lot of friends get.  I averted our first wedding “crisis,” (Elon move-in is the same weekend as our wedding, and all of the hotels on the exit are full), and I reserved a hotel about 20 minutes away, in Greensboro for everyone.  The hotel was super helpful, and is somewhat affordable for my guests, and after I reserved it, I patiently waited for the confirmation email to come.  It never did, and instead, I get a call from a woman in St. Louis, Missouri, who tells me she’s been getting all my emails for years, and that she always thought they were spam.

Until today.

Today, she got one of my wedding emails, which had my phone number attached, so she decided to give me a call to let me know that 1, she’s been knowing all my bidness for years, and 2, congrats on the wedding, they’re printing up rate cards for you to send out with the save-the-dates.

Thank you lord for nice people who also share a similar name to mine.  And Learn. To. Spell.  

I knew this blog was nearing a year old…

So last week, I went ahead and delved into the archives to find out when I’d launched this thing, and it was a year ago, November 19, 2012, that I launched the blog.

For those of you who sort of fell into reading my blog, the way it started was as an idea that’d actually come to me when I was running.  I’m Haitian, and in January of 2010, Haiti was stricken with a huge, huge earthquake, that devastated the capital, where my mother was born.  My idea was a simple one, run, run, and run, and have folks sponsor each mile (or give a lump sum), all the while, documenting my progress on this blog.

Archive

The idea went so swimmingly that I raised the money, and kept the blog going, well after time for donations had closed, and in time capturing my first and second marathons, my engagement to Austin, and in general, the awesome highs, and occasional lows of young adulthood, with generous helpings of working out

So a year later, and many runs, bags of epsom salts, running gear, recovery brewskies, 2 marathons, a few halfs, and a billion laughs along the way, blog is still here, and ready to rocket into more workouts, more running shoes, and more activity as we embark on year 2 of this incredible running journey.  Here’s to more selfies, a wedding, more running, some races, and a sick, healthy body.