I was in the breakfast aisle, when I happened upon a newer flavor of Pop-Tart.  Frosted Confetti Cupcake.

I’m repulsed because generally, I eat pretty healthily, and I cannot wrap my mind around what would possess Kellogg’s to do something like this to our kids.  Like our kids don’t have enough problems without being given a Confetti Cupcake flavored Pop-Tart.  Sorry about global warming, wars, our national debit, and gun violence.   Have this Pop-Tart, and allow me to further ruin your life!

On the other hand, runners really love to eat and drink.  Runners love beer, bread, and dessert.  Anything carby is like runner’s ambrosia.  So maybe Kellogg’s is onto something genius with this?

So obviously, after my stomach stopped roiling, (like three days later), I got to thinking I might buy a box, since they were on sale.  I secured a good home for the box after I ate the one, and went for it.  So I look at the nutrition facts.  Bad deal.  There are 190 Calories in one.  Curiously, two come in a package, so god only knows why they package it that way.  Pull it out.  It looks sorta like a confetti cupcake, so its gotta be moist and good right?  Wrong.

I was dead. Wrong. I bite into the pastry (if it’s not blasphemy to call it that), and it tasted like they filled it with the frosting that comes out of the can.  After it’s sat in your fridge for a few days months.  I kept going.  Still dry.  Still tasted like fake cake.  I just consumed 190 calories of something that tasted like it was made in a test tube, Kellogg’s sorry conceptualization of what cake is thought to taste like.

Generally, my nutrition posts on here will consist of posts about gels, Gu’s, waters, electrolytes, and all of that, but I just couldn’t  resist!

So have a little laugh at my expense, and don’t you friggin dare buy one of these idiotic excuses for a breakfast pastry.